It is with no small feelings of sad, bittersweet, yet happy in a
melancholy sort of way, regretful gratitude that we have come to
the end of yet another year. And last year was so special, too,
because it was the year that … well, we …, umm, in 2002
they…
– wait, I got it: 2002 was the last year that has the same
numeral bookending two zeros until 1,001 years from now. So that
makes it pretty special, huh. I knew there was something.
It is with no small feelings of sad, bittersweet, yet happy in a melancholy sort of way, regretful gratitude that we have come to the end of yet another year. And last year was so special, too, because it was the year that … well, we …, umm, in 2002 they… – wait, I got it: 2002 was the last year that has the same numeral bookending two zeros until 1,001 years from now. So that makes it pretty special, huh. I knew there was something.

I don’t know, maybe it’s age; maybe it’s the times, but lately it seems that years are things to get over with. We do have this tradition of making New Year’s resolutions, which shows that we start off each year with a sense of humor that gradually gets drained away until by this time we’re hanging on to the calendar by our fingernails hoping to make it long enough to see the annual Times Square dropping of a colorfully lit Dick Clark at midnight.

But certainly there were highlights here in the global village, things and events that will forever remind us of the year just passing. Let’s see ….

In 2002 we were reminded to our substantial chagrin that there is a person in the world who is Michael Jackson. Well, maybe not our world, but he’s out there somewhere and I for one am not happy about it.

In 2002 we learned that George Bush’s immortal “Axis of Evil” is actually a Point of Evil called Iraq. The other two countries originally reputed to constitute the Axis of Evil, namely Iran and North Korea, both of which are moving rapidly at the moment toward a big nuclear “gotcha” are in fact on the Axis of Not Very Nice But Let’s Not Get All Uptight About It.

In 2002 our children learned that they do not want to emulate crooked, lying CEOs of major corporations because they are not heroic. They also do not want to emulate money-grubbing prima donna professional athletes because they are not heroic. In addition they do not want to emulate pseudo-pious clerics who treat serial pedophilia as a minor “oopsie” of no legitimate concern to anyone outside the cloisters of the archdiocese because they are not heroic.

However, our children can definitely emulate unassuming barefoot three-and-a-half foot tall creatures in baggy pedal-pushers called Hobbits because they are so heroic they make King Arthur look like Arthur Anderson.

In 2002 we learned that neither war nor peace, boom or bust, power outages, theme parks that ought to work but somehow don’t, freaky weather, traffic congestion, school test scores, or judicial editing of the Pledge of Allegiance – nothing, absolutely nothing can hold the undivided attention of South County like the term “sex club.”

May the New Year be a better one. As challenges go, on a difficulty scale of one to 10, I give it a two.

Robert Mitchell is an attorney in Morgan Hill.

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