Do you have a song that takes you back in your memory to a different time, a different place? Sometimes the melodies are so deeply entwined in our emotional psyches that we recapture the feelings, as if the event is happening right now.
Liturgy, the music of prayer, has the same effect on many people. It is the music, not the words, that triggers something deep inside and opens the door to our soul.
Of all melodies, nothing seems to stir the Jewish soul like the Kol Nidrei, the evening service that begins the Yom Kippur holiday, which begins this year at sundown Oct. 1 and ends at nighttime Oct. 2. The words in the prayerbook are written in Aramaic and are understood by few of us.
Most don’t even ponder what the words mean or what they represent liturgically. But our reaction to the music is almost primordial.
Kol Nidrei’s purpose is for us to begin the Day of Atonement with a clear conscience. We begin Yom Kippur with a reminder of the importance of keeping one’s word and that our word is sacred. We do not make vows lightly and if those vows are broken, for any reason, we cannot simply ignore it.
The message of Kol Nidrei, translated as “All Vows,” is that we cannot make peace with God until we absolve ourselves from the sin of violating our word.
As we approach this culmination of our ten days of atonement, from Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) to the end of Yom Kippur, Kol Nidrei represents a final opportunity to be forgiven. As this holy moment approaches, we are getting nervous—did we do all that we needed to do to be forgiven by God?
Picture yourself speaking to God right now and saying, “I am not perfect. But I need to know that You, God, love me anyway, with all my imperfections. My life has worth only because You created me and You love me.”
We need to know that we have God’s mercy and God’s grace.
Immediately following the recitation of Kol Nidrei the prayerbook quotes the Bible, Numbers 14:20, “And God said: I have pardoned you.” So, God tells us at the beginning of Yom Kippur that we are forgiven. But what about the long night and day ahead of us? What about fasting? What about reciting confessions several times during the day?
The natural thing that comes out of God’s forgiveness is confession. Once God says everything is forgiven, we can say, “In that case, let me get some things off my chest.” As we begin to admit our frailties, it is as if God responds, “Tell me more, tell me about everything. I can take it.”
God’s grace is larger than our sins. Our confession comes from God’s love.
We make our confessions on Yom Kippur knowing God has already forgiven us—which does not mean we’re off the hook. We still need to be brave enough to confess our sins, correct our behaviors, be ashamed, learn our lessons and discipline ourselves. But we know we can come home to God’s open arms and God will welcome our repentance.
Afterall, we have been forgiven.
Rabbi Debbie Israel is a founding member of the Interfaith Clergy Alliance of South County and its liaison to the Interfaith CommUNITY of South County (ICSC). She is Rabbi Emerita of Congregation Emeth and a community rabbi of Santa Cruz County. She can be reached at ra***************@***il.com.
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Beautiful article, Rabbi Israel! Thank you!