Susan Meyers and Marian Yoder met many years ago at San Jose State University, where Marian served as faculty in the School of Nursing and Susan was the Dean of the Connie Lurie College of Education. Marian Yoder met Maryann Kantman when she took her husband for treatment at the physical therapy center directed by Maryann.
Susan and Nadi Akhter, a former math teacher and now a real estate broker, met when the first Abrahamic Alliance programs came to South County.
The four women connected again in 2016 when they became representatives of their faith traditions in the newly formed Interfaith CommUNITY of South County (ICSC). Their participation in ICSC led to a wonderful and unique friendship.
About six years ago, the four of them started meeting for lunch at Rosy’s at the Beach in downtown Morgan Hill, weekly on Taco Tuesday. The server knows them, and knows important details including who wants one taco and who wants two—and that everyone wants Rosy’s famous tablespoon sundae for dessert.
They have their table in the corner where they spend an hour chatting about everything on their minds. Three of the women are retired; the fourth is looking forward to it in the near future. Their conversations range from philosophy and politics, to religion and common interests.
All four were part of the group who founded ICSC in 2016. Interfaith activities and the programs of ICSC were the foundation of the group but no longer its sole purpose.
Maryann, who lives in Morgan Hill, is Catholic and attends St. Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Church. Susan Meyers, who lives in Gilroy, is Jewish and a member of Congregation Emeth in Morgan Hill. Marian was raised as a Mennonite and now attends Gilroy Presbyterian Church. Nadi is Muslim and part of the South Valley Islamic Community.
They share similar views about politics and the direction they see the country heading, but they don’t agree on everything. Their discussions might be intense, but they are not adversarial. They have learned to listen to one another and to respectfully offer differing opinions.
One example, perhaps the most difficult, was the war between Hamas and Israel in Gaza. While they certainly weren’t in agreement about all aspects of the war, they could agree that it was horrific and there was wrongdoing on both sides.
“Our conversations were courteous,” insisted Nadi. “The foundation was humanity. Respect was always present. It starts with a conversation and with building trust.”
Marian commented that a common thread among them is that they all were working professional women, to which Susan added, “Who spent their careers surrounded by men who didn’t listen to them. In this group, we all listen to one another.”
“Philosophically, we are all on the same page,” insisted Maryann. “It helps when you know the people before they express their opinion.”
What’s missing in their conversation is idle gossip. The lunches are intentional in their opportunity to discuss issues of the day in a meaningful way.
At a recent lunch meeting, Susan told them about Rabbi Angela Buchdahl’s book, “Heart of a Stranger.” The other three pulled out their smartphones to write down the title so they could buy it.
While the group is no longer focused on interfaith dialogue per se, the religious differences and commonalities surface from time to time in their discussions.
Susan and Nadi, a Jew and a Muslim respectively, especially value this group and the larger interfaith group where differences are celebrated and appreciated.
“People don’t always agree but in our interfaith group I haven’t experienced any antisemitism,” explained Susan.
“What happened after 9/11, the Islamophobia my community experienced, is like antisemitism today,” Nadi said. “Religion shouldn’t be used for political purposes.”
Mutual respect, appreciation for one another’s beliefs and trust are foundational to this friendship group. They see themselves and the interfaith community as a whole like Martin Luther King’s “beloved community”—the spirit that draws people together.
“Community is a place where we can experience love, acceptance and a sense of belonging,” King once said.
These four women have created that community right here in South County.
Rabbi Debbie Israel is a founding member of the Interfaith Clergy Alliance of South County and its liaison to the Interfaith CommUNITY of South County (ICSC). She can be reached at ra***************@***il.com.
