Throughout history, men have fought wars. Bloody hostilities
– The Crusades and the medieval Reconquista – marked the Middle
Ages while further battles continued into more recent times: The
Revolutionary and Civil Wars. Two World Wars. The Super Bowl.
Throughout history, men have fought wars.
Bloody hostilities – The Crusades and the medieval Reconquista – marked the Middle Ages while further battles continued into more recent times: The Revolutionary and Civil Wars. Two World Wars. The Super Bowl.
As a woman, I admit I don’t quite get it. All this fuss and hoopla leading to “Super Sunday” when the winners of the two NFL conferences come together for a few hours and interrupt other important television programming.
My argument with the Super Bowl isn’t that it’s a football game – it’s that it is nearly always an exceedingly HO-HUM football game with an average final score of 247 to zip.
Talk about anti-climactic. In the 40-year history of the Super Bowl, there’s never been a game that’s gone into overtime. You’d probably witness a more stimulating match-up between fourth graders in a Pop Warner skirmish.
Can you imagine the challenge sportscasters face trying to pump enthusiasm into a lackluster game?
“Say, Bob, did you notice that nasty grass stain on No. 47’s jersey?”
“You’re right, Bill. Those laundry folks are going to have one HECKUVA time getting that shirt to look white again before next season. Whoa – hold on! Was that a seagull that just flew past the control booth?”
So it can’t be the GAME that draws in the millions of us who’ll be camped in front of our screens come Sunday.
The REAL reasons we are excited about Super Sunday are: the halftime show, Super Bowl cuisine and the commercials.
Halftime shows, which grew more outrageous every year, finally went over the top in 2004 with Janet Jackson’s wardrobe “malfunction,” resulting in fines to CBS of over $500,000. In 2005, organizers wisely chose to make halftime a little calmer with Paul McCartney.
Poor Sir Paul – his performance seemed – and I realize this is sacrilege to former Beatles fans – a bit of a snooze-fest after the spectacle we witnessed the year before.
The trend to play it safer continues as this year’s halftime show will feature the Rolling Stones, fresh off their Wheelchair Tour. And speaking of the former Bad Boys of Rock, weren’t you just totally depressed when you learned that defibrillators have become part of their backstage equipment?
(“Amplifiers and microphones?” “Check.” “P.A. system?” “Check.” “Defibrillator batteries?” “Double check.”)
I was happy to hear that Aretha Franklin will be part of the pre-game entertainment this year.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that there will be no malfunctioning wardrobe for the Queen of Soul, no-sirree-bob, because if that WERE to occur, she’d take out the first three rows of Section C.
So what else draws us to the Super Bowl each season? Could it be all the junk food consumed without guilt or apology?
Hold the quiche – and bring on the pizza, beer, nachos, cheese dip, beer, bagel dogs, beer,”wings.” And beer. All across the land we can hear the sound of arteries slamming shut as we consume a heart surgeon’s nightmare.
Food and entertainers aside, the really big bucks are on the commercials. At a reported $2.5 million for a 30-second spot, we’ll be glued to our sets on Sunday to watch Madison Avenue strut its most creative stuff.
In the 70s, “Broadway” Joe Namath donned panty hose for Hanes and “took it all off” with Farrah Fawcett for a Noxzema shaving cream ad.
In 1984, Ridley Scott revved up Super Bowl commercials big time by producing an Orwellian-like ad introducing the Macintosh computer. Since then we’ve enjoyed “Bud. Weis. Er.” croaking frogs, Clydesdales playing ball, monkeys whooping it up at the office and Jordan and Bird’s “Nothin’ but net” game of horse.
As for who’s going to be the Super Bowl winner this year, I haven’t a clue, but I’m betting on the commercials.
