Sometime earlier this month, my boss gave me a tough choice on
how to spend my day. Option A was to remain in the office for hours
and work. Now granted, this sounded so appealing I didn
’t even want to listen to Option B.
Sometime earlier this month, my boss gave me a tough choice on how to spend my day.
Option A was to remain in the office for hours and work. Now granted, this sounded so appealing I didn’t even want to listen to Option B.
But then Option B turned out to be spending the day wakeboarding at Coyote Lake. As you can imagine, I was in quite a bind.
A day on the desk chair or a day on the boat? Inside a building with a moody air-conditioning or outside under perfect skies? It sure wasn’t going to be an easy decision.
But after an excruciating half-second of soul-searching, I decided my talents would be best served out on the lake. Sometimes you just have to make a sacrifice for the betterment of the team.
The truth be told, I didn’t know the first thing about wakeboarding. Somebody in the office told me it was a combination of water skiing and riding a skateboard on water.
This was a real positive development considering I had never been water skiing and couldn’t even ride a skateboard on land.
I also didn’t know much about the people I was spending the day with – Gilroy natives Travis Briscoe and Jeff MacPhail, both 17, and Ben Whittaker and Logan Toews, both 18.
Later I found out they are good friends who have wakeboarded together for years. They go at least twice a week and have become quite the pros.
Briscoe even competed in a few competitions last year and is so good a local company gives him a free wakeboard any time his breaks.
Now I also found out they wanted to meet at the Gilroy Donut Shop at 8:30 in the morning. Now because I’m both a sportswriter and between the age of 14 and 25, I soured at the notion. But again, this was all about sacrificing for the team.
So I not only woke up early, but I spent a good five minutes researching the night before. I went online and printed out a glossary of wakeboarding terms. Hey, if I was going to be on a boat with guys that had participated in the sport for years, I wanted to be down with their wakeboarding jive.
As it turns out, I learned that a) a faceplant is when you fall so quickly your face slaps the water hard, b) a stack is a bad wreck, c) a digger is another term for a bad wreck. And, d) wakeboarding is another term for a bad idea.
That’s when I decided I would probably just watch. I would be a good little reporter and simply report what I saw. It sounded like such a good idea at the time.
7:50 a.m. – First alarm goes off?
7:52 – Backup alarm goes off?
8:24 – Wake up. I have no idea how or why. The evidence shows I turned off both alarms.
8:36 – Arrive at intended destination exactly 12 minutes after falling out of bed, putting on my contacts and throwing on the first clothes I see – beating previous personal record by at least 45 seconds.
9:08 – After learning such fun terms as “bunny hop” and “rampy wake” on the car ride over, we finally reach Coyote Lake.
9:10 – Laughs for everyone as anonymous waker No. 3 (Travis) releases day’s first flatulence. Will this ever happen among a group of guys and not be funny?
9:18 – When they find out I’m new to town, the guys try to get me to go out with Travis’ sister, resulting in the awkward “really fellas, stop talking about my sister” face. Again, will this ever happen among a group of guys and not be funny?
9:21 – Learn that an “eye-opener” is a fall where you faceplant so fast that you can’t manage to close your eyes before hitting the water. Yeah, this really sounds fun … oh whenever do we begin?
9:36 – We begin.
9:37 – So do the wipeouts.
9:40 – Travis tries out a Toeside Back Roll. I have no idea what this means.
9:41 – I get a lengthy explanation of the Toeside Back Roll. I still have no idea what this means.
9:44 – Get our first dirty look from those crazy folk who come to the lake to fish. Whatever. At least we can say no animals were harmed in the writing of this story. People? Why, of course. But we left the fish alone.
9:54 – After a painful-looking wipeout, Jeff was responsible for the following sequence … “Man, that hurt” … (Laugh) … “Did you get that on film?” Have these people no pain threshold?
10:05 – The same two planes that apparently flew dangerously close to the water just a few days back are spotted once again. We jokingly wave the boat’s orange flag and elevate Coyote Lake to orange alert.
10:06 – Tom Ridge gets word and immediately calls a press conference.
10:14 – At the edge of the boat, Ben and Logan recreate the famous scene from Titanic. We’ll just pretend that never happened.
10:31 – Logan attempts one of the sport’s most revered tricks, the raley. Without flipping, he is supposed to extend his body back with the board above his head. I have no idea why anybody would want to do this.
10:40 – After four wipeouts, Logan prepares for No. 5 and declares he is getting his name in the paper, “probably into the obituaries.” The kid is a civil engineering major at San Jose St. He really should be smarter than this.
10:45 – I find out Jeff once cut his head open doing this stuff. It’s official: I’m not doing this stuff.
10:56 – OK, so maybe I am. They convinced/brainwashed me. Funny, though, how the lead brainwasher is our photographer, Max. He’s moved once all day, and that was to get closer to the doughnuts.
10:59 – The shirt of yours truly comes off. The fellas are jealous and the imaginary women are starry-eyed. [OK ladies, now is when you stop reading].
11:05 – The truth is, I don’t think I’ve exercised since my last ninth-grade gym class.
11:06 – Slide off the boat … most of board goes above the water … most of head goes below the water … now doggy-paddling … hearing laughter … OK, so maybe this wasn’t the brightest idea …
11:08 – After I regain some sense of balance, the boat readies to take off. Then I realize I have rope tangled around my body. Now let me tell you something … THAT would’ve been a 360 degree spin for the ages.
11:10 – I was told to lean back once I was lifted out of the water. I, of course, do the complete opposite. And I, of course, fall straight on my face.
11:11 – Things get a little blurry after this. Might have something to do with the fact that my left contact is now lodged somewhere in the upper realms of my left eye.
11:12 – Good news: My contact is back in place. Bad news: Apparently I’m doing this thing again.
11:13 – After asking which direction I should face, the guys tell me to “go with whatever feels natural.” So naturally, I face toward the dock. I face toward freedom.
11:17 – After a second and third attempt net a combined 7.3 seconds above water, I am nicknamed “goofy foot.”
11:18 – After nearly a minute of rapidly declining self-esteem, I learn that “goofy foot” is simply wakeboarding with your right foot forward. Or so they say.
11:19 – Fourth attempt nets my most impressive accomplishment yet. After three faceplants, I actually fell backward this time. A real-life backplant! Somewhere, the Edgerton parents smile with pride.
11:21 – My fifth attempt even impresses the fishermen. I stay up for a good 9.1845 seconds. Knowing I could never top such a once-in-a-lifetime feat, I decide to call it a day.
11:25 – After climbing into to the boat like I was a 94-year-old man, the fellas assure me I did as good as could be expected for my first try. While I’d like to believe them, I have the feeling they’re just being nice. I mean, come on … while underwater, I even heard one of the fish laugh.
