It wasn
’t going to be an easy task. My opponent on the golf course this
past weekend is a true student of the game. He sits at home for
hours and studies the swings of his favorite golfers on
television.
It wasn’t going to be an easy task.
My opponent on the golf course this past weekend is a true student of the game. He sits at home for hours and studies the swings of his favorite golfers on television.
He studies the wind patterns before each shot and studies the greens before each putt.
He started swinging clubs when he was 18 months old and started going to the driving range when he was 2.
He won a state championships by eight shots last month and will compete for a world championship this week.
Alright, so he’s 46 inches tall and weighs in at 48 pounds. OK, so he’s currently missing two of his front teeth.
So yeah, he’s six years old.
Whatever.
Last month, Gilroy native Ryan Slater joined around 700 boys and girls from all around the globe to compete at the Junior World Championships in Williamsburg, Va.
Grouped in the 6-and-under division, Slater faced off against a practical Who’s Who of small golfers. The dreaded Luis Gagne of northern Florida was there, as well as the always-tough Andy Ogletree of Mississippi. And of course, there’s the practically immortal Filipino, Allenby Jiro Ramos.
So obviously young Ryan needed to get some practice in before he left. And although it was tempting to remain in the office for the duration of a beautiful Friday afternoon, I decided to take on the hometown kid and prepare him for the world’s best.
I figured a loss would humble him and force him to correct his mistakes before the big event.
Yes, it sounded like such a good idea at the time …
2:24 p.m. – Confidence goes through the roof as I pull into Gilroy Golf Course and get a look at my nemesis out on the putting green. I’m 20 yards away and can barely see the kid. Pretty sure he could fit in my golf bag.
2:27 – Get the chance to meet Sandy Slater, Ryan’s caddie/agent/chaffeur/mother. She’s been playing golf since she was 12.
2:29 – Bad Sign No. 1: Just found out Sandy’s not the only one who passed along golf genes to Ryan. Turns out I’m taking on the offspring of a golfing dynasty. Dad plays. Both grandpas play. Grandma one played on the British amateur team. And great-grandparents were once presidents of golf clubs in jolly ol’ England.
I once played in a father-son tournament.
2:33 – Bad Sign No. 2: From the clubhouse, I watch my 3-foot opponent nail an 18-footer over on the practice green … then instinctively lift his arm up like he was waving to the crowd … except there was nobody around. I’m instanty horrified.
2:37 – After the much-anticipated first handshake, I jokingly ask him to go easy on me out on the course. No response. He doesn’t seem amused. Not good.
2:44 – Ryan’s legs don’t reach the gas pedal, so I agree to drive the golf cart. With his mom on the other side, he squeezes in right next to me. Fierce foes about to go into battle … sitting shoulder-to-stomach.
2:45 – I ask my opponent whether he thinks he can beat a 22 year old. “Mostly,” he responds.
Pressing for a more definitive answer, I ask him again. “Yeah, of course I can,” he fires back.
My self-esteem plummets.
2:49 – We decide to tee off from about 140 yards out. Ryan hits his first shot straight, but well short of the green. He’s furious.
Much older and bigger, I hit my first shot only slightly farther than his and I’m thrilled with it. I was just glad it was still touching something green.
Come to think of it, that’s probably Bad Sign No. 3.
2:51 – Bad Sign No. 4: I ask the young prodigy what his biggest weakness is and he takes forever to answer. He seems genuinely stumped by the question. Then he comes up with this dandy: “my alignments.” Oh yeah, great. His alignments? What does that even mean?
2:54 – Second shot and I’m already in the bunker. Third shot and I’m still in the bunker. Fourth shot and I’m still in the bunker. Fifth shot … and it’s time to humbly hand my club over to Ryan for a tutorial. He proceeds to hit it within a foot of the hole. I kid you not.
2:58 – The charming group behind us decides to zip past and start their round on the second hole. Mrs. Slater theorizes they saw a little kid and figured he would slow them down.
Nice theory, but I’m not buying it. I’m guessing they saw the big kid.
3:08 – Oh gee, look who’s slowing things down in front of us.
3:09 – While we’re waiting on Slice and Hook to finish things up, Ryan spots a random putting green and decides he needs some more practice.
As he’s walking away from the cart, he turns to me and says, “Maybe you should come to.”
Trash-talk first-grade style … you gotta love it.
3:15 – Turns out it was just a ploy. Little Tiger really wanted to challenge me to a quick putting contest. He, of course, rolls to a 4-0 sweep (and it wasn’t even that close).
3:18 – Just found out Ryan recently played nine rounds of golf in 14 days while vacationing in Texas.
Sure is comforting … considering I’ve played about nine rounds since he was born.
3:22 – Trying to decide how to approach his second shot on hole No. 2, Ryan decides he’s going to “bite it with a wedge.”
My approach is the same as always … please God, make contact.
3:23 – 4:01 – Temporary amnesia.
4:02 – After four holes, I mercifully hoist the white flag.
4:03 – Just realized I got schooled by someone was born in 1998. I might not ever get over this.
4:06 – Finally get a good look at the words on the back of Ryan’s shirt collar. In bold letters, it reads “I AM THE FUTURE.”
After eating a full plate of humble pie, I was in no position to question that.
4:09 – Finally got some good news. Just found out Ryan has a 4-year-old sister who’s into Barbies more than she’s into golf.
An end in sight to the Slater dynasty? You better believe it.
Give me two more years and I’ll be ready to take her on.
