When I sat at the most recent sentencing hearing for Morgan Hill resident Anthony McDowell, the survivor of an accident in which he was the driver and his friend, Erin Kinkel, was killed, I knew I was witnessing a turning point for a young person, old enough to be a man, but not yet truly one. I was hopeful that this boy, caught trying to get away with not following what was prescribed two years ago, would see that he needed to take some action on his own behalf and change his direction. Instead, he dug himself into a hole that will soon be very deep.
Two years ago, I watched this young man struggle with the aftermath of his and his friends’ unquestionably bad choices and refuse to take responsibility in the way others wanted him to in an effort to salvage a questionable future. Not well educated, his employment prospects were limited. He wanted to go into the Navy, he said. With a conviction, he would be unable to do so, so he and his family fought for a year to keep him from taking responsibility for the accident only he caused. Many people stood up in support of him, the judge took pity and gave a lenient sentence of probation and community service.
He told of being racked by guilt, he promised to perform community service, he promised to stay in touch with the parents of the friend who died, to assure them he would make something of his life. He was ordered to pay restitution and attend probation appointments.
Two years later, he admitted that he didn’t perform the community service ordered (yes, attending younger brother’s soccer practices and games doesn’t count), he failed to attend his probation appointments, he didn’t pay the restitution. I learned that soon after the trial, he’d turned down offers from the victim’s father to write letters to the Navy on his behalf (his lawyer stated he decided the Navy wasn’t for him after all).
Of the many things that irritate, disappoint and puzzle me, ranking among the top is witnessing a person choosing to make a hard road even harder, refusing a path that has been lined with people and resources to support him. McDowell’s refusal of a second chance, of a shortened jail term he sidestepped before, combined with yet another opportunity to perform the community service he’d had two years previously to complete, choosing instead a year of jail was inexplicable to me. Was the idea of community service and facing the music he’s been avoiding so fearful to him that he’d rather choose to spend another unproductive year – this time in jail – placing himself in circumstances that make prospects for a decent future even more dim?
McDowell and his supporters are wrong to mistake our desire for him to be accountable as revenge. Erin’s life, though brief, wasn’t wasted. What we’re looking for is a demonstration from McDowell that he is not wasting his. After the hearing, as we stood outside the courtroom, the prosecutor shook his head and said, “I guarantee you he will be back here in 18 months.”
I watched a young woman and her family leave the courthouse. I learned she was Anthony’s girlfriend. They were the only ones who had come this time instead of his own mother and all the others who supported McDowell two years ago.
I hope she and her parents are paying attention to all the red flags, to the choices made by the one she loves. Instead of living up to promises, he broke them. Instead of doing what he was ordered to, he disobeyed. Instead of taking advantage of a second chance to do the work he needs to, he chose an unproductive year in jail. He has inked onto his body “a friend never forgets.” But he has done none of the more important things a real friend does: accept responsibility for wrongs committed, be accountable, hold up his end.
Contrary to what others say, life is not short. Life is long. And fortunately for McDowell, it is long enough for him to change his direction and take on the hard work he needs to do to become the man he needs to be and others expect him and need him to be. But the flip side is: life is also too long to live it stuck in a deep hole of one’s own making. One person died as the result of questionable choices. Now another is thrown away by the same inability to choose properly.
Columnist Dina Campeau is a wife, mother of two teens and a resident of Morgan Hill. Her work for the last seven years has focused on affordable housing and homeless issues in Santa Clara County. Her column will be published each Friday. Reach her at dc******@*****er.net.
