I have a confession to make: I
’ve been hiding a serious addiction to country music for almost
three years now. But today is the day, my friends! I’m finally
coming out of the closet.
I have a confession to make: I’ve been hiding a serious addiction to country music for almost three years now. But today is the day, my friends! I’m finally coming out of the closet.
My real favorite radio station? Wild 94.9? Live 105.3? No. It’s 95.7 The Bear. Yes, it’s really true. I’ve kept it secret from everyone for months, in fear of the scrutinizing gazes and disappointed shudders I’d receive. But I’ve finally gained the strength to admit it. I worship Shania Twain, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Alan Jackson- the list goes on.
What brought me to this confession? A song – a country song, of course, by Gretchen Wilson called Redneck Woman: “Well, I ain’t never been the Barbie doll type. No, I can’t swig that sweet Champagne: I’d rather drink beer all night, in a tavern or in a honky tonk, or on a four-wheel drive tailgate. I’ve got posters on my wall of Skynrd, Kid and Strait. Some people look down on me, but I don’t give a rip ‘cause I’m a redneck woman, an I ain’t no high class broad.”
Well, it’s obvious this song was written as a message to give me the courage to stand beside Gretchen with pride and say to the world that I, too, am a redneck woman!
There’s really no possible way to hate country music. I tried at first. You know, fake a cringe when a friend puts country on, and join in with other fakers about how suicidally depressing it all is. But eventually, the desire becomes so strong that even your most ruthless attempts to scorn country music are futile. Whether you like it or not, you find yourself humming along to the Dixie Chicks at work. It just happens.
And people who think it’s too depressing are wrong. It actually makes you feel better about yourself because the people in the songs are almost always far more worse off than you are. And all those songs about love? You’re bound to relate to one of them, if not all. Plus, some are just downright hilarious.
Here’s a recent favorite of mine. It’s about a guy who really loves his fishin’, maybe a little too much: “Well I love her, and I love to fish. I spend all day out on this lake, and Hell is all I catch. Today she met me at the door, said I would have to choose. If I hit that fishin’ hole today she’d be packin’ all her things and she’d be gone by noon. Well I’m gonna miss her when I get home. I’m sure it’ll hit me when I walk through that door tonight that I’m gonna miss her. Oh, lookie here, I’ve got a bite.”
Now, I’m sure there are some ladies out there who can relate to that song. Try not to be bitter about it though. Men really do love their fishing; it’s pointless to try and compete.
Whether the rest of the world is ready to admit it, country music is taking over. You can now book country music vacations in Nashville and Memphis. Plus, for those ocean lovers, they’ve even got country music theme cruises to choose from.
Country music has even gone global. It’s all the rage in Britain, Australia, Canada and even Switzerland – where the Swiss country scene is all the rage. Seriously.
Country music is even evident in politics. Hilary Clinton once quoted Tammy Wynette’s country song, Stand by your Man, in a famous television interview, as she attempted to show her strong support for her husband. Although many country music fans interpreted her remarks in an unfavorable light, she apologized to Tammy, and it all worked out. So you see, country music lyrics are very powerful. They may have saved Hilary and Bill’s marriage.
But for those of us out there who’ve decided not to stand by our man, never fear, I have just the song for you.
Amy Dalley really seems to take the message home with her catchy new song, Men Don’t Change: “He was a bad boy and I was a good girl. He needed me to smooth out the edges. He’d get his drink on and flirt with the ladies. After two years I quit begging. I’m a magnet for the fixer-upper man. My friend Lisa, she loves a liar. She found out about his other girlfriends. He makes excuses so she forgives him. Chocolate is a Band-Aid and no matter what they say, shoes don’t stretch and men don’t change.” And if you think they do, I’m very sorry for you.
This song is probably a harsh reality for most men to face, but Terri Clark is only telling it like it is in her song Girls Lie, Too. Lyrics like “So she can’t go out tonight again. Her sister’s sick, she’s gotta baby-sit. Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good excuse. Now, you didn’t hear this from me but things aren’t always what they seem. Brace yourself, this may come as a shock to you. Girls lie, too. We don’t care how much money you make, what you drive or what you weigh. Size don’t matter anyway, other guys never cross our minds. We don’t wonder what it might be like. How could it be any better than it is with you? Girls lie, too. No, we don’t care how much hair you have. Yeah, that looks good. Comb it over like that.” Ouch.
Now, for the romantic in us all, there are quite a few songs to choose from, but here’s a new favorite of mine by Blake Shelton. It’s called Austin: “She left without leavin’ a number, said she needed to clear her mind. He figured she’d gone back to Austin, cause she talked about it all the time. It was almost a year before she called him up; three rings and this is what she got. If you’re callin’ ‘bout the car, I sold it. If this is Tuesday night, I’m bowling. If you’ve got somethin’ to sell, you’re wasting your time, I’m not buyin’. If it’s anybody else, wait for the tone, you know what to do and P.S., if this is Austin I still love you. The telephone fell to the counter, she heard but she couldn’t believe. What kind of man would hang on that long; what kind of love that must be?”
So of course she calls back and leaves her number, then two days later he calls her. “And this is what he heard. If you’re callin’ ‘bout my heart, it’s still yours, I should’ve listened to it a little more. Then it wouldn’t have taken me so long, to know where I belong. And by the way, boy, this is no machine you’re talkin’ to: Can’t you tell? This is Austin and I still love you.”
Ahhh. Doesn’t it just give you goose bumps? Maybe it only works on the hopeless romantics out there who believe polar ice caps will melt if people aren’t with their true love. Luckily, I’m still one of ‘em.
Which is why this last one tells the story of my future. I just know one of these nights, while waitressing at Buca di Beppo, I’ll end up waiting on my true love.
Reba McIntyre (who, as an additional confession, was in fact my sole idol in fourth grade) says it beautifully with her song Somebody: “At a diner down on Broadway, they make small talk, when she brings his eggs and fills his coffee cup. He jokes about his love life, and tells her he’s ‘bout ready to give up. That’s when she says: “I’ve been there before. But keep lookin’ ‘cause maybe who you’re lookin’ for is somebody in the next car; somebody on the morning train; somebody in the coffee shop that you walk right by everyday. Somebody that you look at, but never really see. Somewhere out there is somebody.
“Now they laugh about the moment that it happened. A moment they’d both missed until that day. When he saw his future in her eyes, instead of just another friendly face. And he wonders why he searched so long, when she was always there, at that diner waiting on.”
See, there’s a country song out there for everyone. Trust me. Next time you’re in the car just turn it on for a minute. Baby steps, and then pretty soon you’ll be hooked like me.
