Andrew Matheson When they announced that the Mitchell report was
to be released on Thursday, my buddy and I decided to go ahead and
draft beforehand our Mitchell report fantasy baseball team.
Andrew Matheson
When they announced that the Mitchell report was to be released on Thursday, my buddy and I decided to go ahead and draft beforehand our Mitchell report fantasy baseball team.
One through nine. Each position. One starting pitcher. Only balloon-like players allowed (this was a contentious point).
And since the Mitchell Report was going to reveal those players who have, were going to, or were thinking about using steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, well, the Mitchell Report fantasy team would have to have a designated hitter, of course.
While I won’t break down my Murders Row of inflated power hitters, I will say that Roger Clemens was my starting pitcher.
And that’s one of the interesting facets of the Mitchell Report. Some people are calling it the biggest scandal since the 1919 Black Sox. Others feel that players were rather unfairly thrown under the bus based on circumstantial evidence.
Some thought it was a great day for baseball, as maybe they’ll now actually do something to stop the drug use, while others thought it was the saddest day, making the national pastime look like a joke.
For me? I handled it the same way Major League Baseball – the owners and players association included – handled it all those years: I kind of glossed over it and instead built a baseball team.
The fact that none of the names on the list are shocking should say something, right? The fact that none of the recommendations presented by Sen. George Mitchell are revolutionary should say something, right?
Everyone knew steroids was used in baseball. Everyone knew something needed to be done. And everyone looked the other way.
So here’s what we learned from the report: Just because your trainer injects steroids into your buttocks doesn’t mean he likes you; Tim Laker was not a good baseball player; For that matter, neither was Bart Miadich; Peter Gammons is not on steroids.
Here are three other observations from the week that was:
n OK, so LSU coach Les Miles may or may not be staying at LSU. He may or may not be heading to Michigan. He may or may not be lying. And he may or may not be telling the truth.
Until Michigan hires a head coach, and until the 2008 college football season begins with Miles at LSU and Coach X at Michigan, let’s just seize all talk about this man.
Now, I don’t know what to believe.
n Reason No. 34,556 why I don’t know what to believe: Bobby Petrino.
Petrino jumped off the sinking Atlanta Falcons ship this week and took the helm at Arkansas, passing up his five-year, $24 million contract in the process.
What people seemed to talk about, though, was the way Petrino did it – by calling Falcons owner Arthur Blank over the phone to say he’s bolting back to college football.
Juvenile? Perhaps. But, in my opinion, Petrino was simply following the Rules of the Breakup.
Remember when you were in high school, and you broke up with your girlfriend of four years through a text message? That was when you learned the Rules of the Breakup … right after she smacked you in the face.
See, if you date someone for a week, breaking up through a text message is fine. Two weeks? Well, an e-mail is appropriate. Three? You should probably call her. One month? Man up, son. You’ll need to do it in person.
And since Petrino was only 13 weeks into a five-year relationship, breaking up with the Falcons over the phone was right on par with the Rules.
Now, if you plan on breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend anytime soon, keep in mind I just made those rules up.
n Speaking of rules, when did anyone officially record the rule for, “Must support athlete under any circumstances.”
Just because you enjoy watching the Falcons, or you play for the Falcons, or you perhaps live in the Atlanta metropolitan area, that doesn’t mean you MUST support Michael Vick.
On Monday Night Football, ESPN’s cameras managed to pick up plenty of Falcons fans donning their No. 7 jersey’s or holding up supportive Vick posters, just hours after the former-player was sentenced to 23 months in prison on dogfighting charges.
Really, doctor? It’s truly amazing what people can justify sometimes.
I know he bankrolled a dogfighting ring, but he flips us the dirty bird so well!
