I had a call a few nights ago from a good friend. She had just heard some news and she needed a person to listen while she talked and processed what she had heard. We have been friends for many years and this was not the first time one of us had called the other to share some news that disturbed us, and it will not be the last time.
I treasure this friendship and this call reminded me of the importance for everyone to have friendships.
Every faith tells us that we are not meant to journey through this life alone. Friends are a divine gift and friends help us not only get through life, but make life meaningful and fulfilling.
An ancient king of Rome said, “Friends are the siblings our deity never gave us.” Friends make us part of a community and friends help us understand the interconnectedness of all of creation. Whatever happens to one has effects on all.
Friends allow us to be ourselves and be vulnerable. Friends allow us to confide things that we don’t want to share with the whole world and know that our deepest feelings and thoughts will be safe. Friends help us develop trust in ourselves and in at least a few others.
I have a magnet that says, “Friendship isn’t one big thing. It is a million little things.”
Friends know our strengths and our flaws and accept us and love us just as we are. Friends celebrate us when we are joyous over something in our lives, and friends share our tears when a tragedy happens.
Friends make sure we are not alone and that we feel connected to other people and also to our deity.
Friends are generous with their time and their kind words. And friends will also be truthful with us and tell us when they don’t agree with us or when we have done something wrong. In that moment we usually don’t appreciate that aspect of our friendship, but come to realize that our friends tell us because they are wanting the best for us.
There is one more characteristic of friendships that gives meaning to this connection. In addition to being physical beings we are also spiritual beings. Our spirituality or religion is that part that helps us think and feel beyond ourselves.
It is this connection to other human beings, to creation, and to a higher power that aids us in developing compassion, empathy, a sense of purpose in life, and a deep appreciation for what happens in our world. Friendships are what hold us together in this sacred world.
Now I am sure that most of us have thought we had a friend who didn’t show up when we needed them, or betrayed us, or did something so horrible that we don’t mention it. And when we think of our spiritual friends who treat us in these ways, it is even more painful, because it carries consequences to our deity.
Those people appeared to be our friends, but were not friends. True friends are people of character and a spirituality and who we can count on no matter what.
Friendships take time and if you have a friend, do not neglect that friend. Reach out and stay in touch. We never know when we will need to share that once in a lifetime experience with a friend or need a friend to share our sorrow.
Today, be grateful for the friends our deity has brought into our lives. And if the name of a friend doesn’t quickly come to mind, then find a person and take the time to become a friend. The rewards will be many.
Rev. Dr. Linda A. Holbrook is the pastor of Morgan Hill United Methodist Church and a member of the Interfaith Clergy Alliance. She may be contacted at li************@*****il.com.
