Whoever said that time heals all wounds must not have lost a
child, Scott Kinkel has said. His first daughter Erin, the one who
changed his and wife Miki
’s lives forever by making them parents, died last August from
head injuries suffered after she was thrown from the back of an
out-of-control pickup driven by her friend.
Whoever said that time heals all wounds must not have lost a child, Scott Kinkel has said. His first daughter Erin, the one who changed his and wife Miki’s lives forever by making them parents, died last August from head injuries suffered after she was thrown from the back of an out-of-control pickup driven by her friend.
“The longer the person you love is gone, you just miss her more, not less.”
Over the past seven months, both Scott and Miki have tried to articulate their grief over a loss that has shown no signs of abating. Remembering the night of the accident, this is understandable.
Every time parents allow their child out of their sight, no matter at what age, it is with a prayer, a tug of fear and a trust that she and whoever she is with will work together to return safely.
My daughter went to school with Erin from 5th to 8th grade where the friends forged a bond that survived time and distance at different high schools.
With their family and friends, I have attended every pre-trial hearing of the prosecution of the driver and seen the stress of the long justice process exhibited in their bodies.
Once inside Superior Court, Scott’s tension becomes more palpable the deeper into the building he goes. Miki seems to hold her breath as soon as she sits down so that she looks as though she will nearly faint when the next case is called. They both lie awake at night, the agony of their loss compounded by the aftermath of the accident that has not provided any resolution.
Though still horribly grief-stricken, the Kinkels have committed their lives to helping others in the community learn from the experience so that no one else has to endure such pain. Scott makes presentations to local drivers’ education classes, church youth groups and local high schools to impress upon teens the dangers of unsafe driving. Sometimes, he is accompanied by Erin’s best friend, Emelie Castillo, or Live Oak student Jessica Rioux, who’d met Erin for only 10 minutes, but was so affected by her death, that she felt compelled to talk to her peers. The Kinkels have said that Emelie and Jessica are “their angels on Earth.”
He starts out by giving them the details of the accident, including Erin’s choice to get in the back of the truck. He asks them, “How many of you have been speeding? How many have ridden unrestrained, without a seat belt, or in the back of a truck?” Of course, we all know it is common, even among adults. It’s also against the law, it’s unsafe and the consequences can be fatal.
He then challenges them. “Have fun, but be safe!” he says, and urges them to consider the consequences of their choices and know that they affect many others as well as themselves.
He then emphasizes the regard he and Miki have for them. “Know that we care about you. If something ever happened to you because you made a poor choice behind the wheel of a car, you’ll just devastate us, as well as your own parents.”
The Kinkels have also started a non-profit fund, under the wings of the Gilroy Foundation, for a memorial scholarship for Gilroy High and Live Oak seniors. The recipient will receive a personal plaque as well as the scholarship, and his/her name will be engraved on a plaque displayed in an area visible to Gilroy and Live Oak High students. To raise enough money to create an endowment that will provide the scholarship for many, many years, they are selling bracelets of vivid Gilroy Mustang blue, Erin’s favorite color, that read DRIVE RESPONSIBLY E.K The bracelets are $2 each, and already, a local formal wear shop ordered some in time for prom to hand out free with each tuxedo rental as reminders to drive safely.
They have plans to approach driver training schools, insurance companies, car dealerships and other businesses to maximize their efforts in not only raising money, but also spreading this important message.
Erin, a shining light to all who knew her, is gone and is missed terribly. As my daughter has said, “it is like someone sucked the air out of the world.” However, rather than follow the impulse to withdraw into their pain, the Kinkels are working hard to pump some air back in, so that others’ worlds are not deflated. The blue bracelet on my wrist, as vibrant as Erin’s smile, reminds me to buckle up, slow down and take those corners easy every time.
To order Erin’s DRIVE RESPONSIBLY bracelets, contact Scott and Miki Kinkel at 847-8920 or via email at sc***@***********ps.com. To arrange for a presentation, contact Scott Kinkel at 847-8920.
Columnist Dina Campeau is a wife, mother of two teens and a resident of Morgan Hill. Her work for the last seven years has focused on affordable housing and homeless issues in Santa Clara County. Reach her at dc******@*****er.net 9 04
