I am ashamed to admit that these past few months I have
definitely not lived every breath of my life to the fullest, and I
have not been thankful for every living moment I have had. In fact,
I
’m even more ashamed to admit that I have actually been feeling
sorry for myself; quite a bit in fact.And most of the time, I
haven’t felt that I had much to be thankful for.
I am ashamed to admit that these past few months I have definitely not lived every breath of my life to the fullest, and I have not been thankful for every living moment I have had. In fact, I’m even more ashamed to admit that I have actually been feeling sorry for myself; quite a bit in fact.And most of the time, I haven’t felt that I had much to be thankful for.
I’ve been stressed and overwhelmed with college worries, I’ve had an exhausting cold that apparently has no intention of leaving my body, and there have been several little teenage dramas with friends and family. I’ve felt like everyday was nothing but a daze of routine chores, schoolwork, obligations, activities and work, and pretty much the only thing I’ve looked forward to has been the end of the day, when I could come home and sleep.
It took a horrible tragedy to slap me back into reality. To make me realize how precious life is and how stupid I’ve been, just throwing it all to waste. When I wrote my last column on teen suicide, the reality of it still hadn’t really hit me. Morgan Hill had just lost a young girl who committed suicide. I felt it was important to research and write about how essential it is to watch your teen child or friend for signs of depression and suicide in the hopes to prevent it from happening again.
But I wrote that column from a different perspective than the view I have now. See, I didn’t know that girl. I’d never known any teen who had committed suicide, and even though it happened in our small town, I was still reasonably sheltered from the horrible tragedy. The recent death of Willie McGeaver has affected me differently.
I didn’t know Willie enough to give him the biography he truly deserves, but I will say this. He was in my math class in 10th grade, sat near me, and would often help me with difficult problems. He was really smart. And he was one of those guys who was everyone’s friend. His amazing sense of humor could actually make an hour of Geometry bearable for me.
Once, my friend Rob backed his car into Willie’s in the Live Oak parking lot, and Willie was totally nice about it, telling my friend not to worry, it happens.
Not many guys would be this way after a Ford Explorer backs into their car, but Willie always seemed to be really gentle and easygoing. I didn’t know him as well as I would have liked, but I’m grateful for the times I did talk to him. I know that he touched a lot of people. After learning about his death, I realized how real it all is; this is life, and it could be gone in a moment.
Willie’s death brought the seriousness of teen suicide to a deeper level of reality then I had before. Teen suicide can happen, and it does. It could be your friend, neighbor, family member, or the really nice guy who sat next to you in math. I don’t think I really understood that before, but I do now, and it has made me realize a few things.
I don’t want to have regrets anymore, looking back and realizing that I took for granted valuable moments of my life. I want to live every moment of every day as if it is the last one I’ll ever have. I’m not going to let so many little things bring me down, and I’m not going to allow negative influences in my life anymore.
I’ve watched a lot of my friends change during high school. I’ve seen them go down this kind of self-destructive path. They’ve let their grades drop, quit their favorite sports, lost their jobs, and let everything they have go. They have changed their characters because the nice guy just isn’t cool anymore, made their family and friends worry and feel pain as they rebel.
I look back and wonder where the people I knew have gone and why they’ve chosen to allow this person to take over their former self. It makes me think about what’s really important. I know a lot of teens will leave high school and recognize all their mistakes, but what if some of them don’t even get the chance to do that?
Having friends and feeling accepted is a great thing, but is it worth losing sight of yourself and the importance of your future? It seems that too many people become followers in high school, getting sucked up into a harmful lifestyle just so they can feel well known and attain some sort of “cool” status. Somehow, I don’t think that is what life is really about.
Many teens self-destruct because they’re going through difficult times. Overwhelmed with college decisions and hard break-ups, they decide to let go of everything and hit up drugs and alcohol as their way to find “solace.” After seeing how quickly someone can leave this world, I realize that this is a stupid and immature way to live life.
Life is an undeserved gift, and should be treated that way. Popularity and tough times are no excuse to let everything else go. I hope teens who are in a self-destructive mode can realize this before something tragic happens to them or someone they know.
Life is so precious, too precious to just let go of, no matter what the circumstances are. Things will get better, they always do, and you just have to believe the truth of that. No matter how hard things are now, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it is hard to believe, but it’s true. “Time heals all wounds, this too shall pass…”
Chrissy Bryant is a senior at Live Oak High School. She alternates weekly with Melissa Ballard in writing Teen Perspective. Contact Chrissy at ed****@*************es.com
