There are certain clues to look for, if you are not sure but
think you might be involved in a potentially abusive relationship,
according to Lisa DiSilva, Lisa, director of community and resource
development for Community Solutions.
There are certain clues to look for, if you are not sure but think you might be involved in a potentially abusive relationship, according to Lisa DiSilva, Lisa, director of community and resource development for Community Solutions.
“We have a list of questions you can go through, and if you answer yes to any of these, your partner may be an abuser,” she said. “There are many types of abuse, and emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.”
The questions include:
• Does your partner frighten you with his or her temper?
• Does your partner criticize you often for everyday things, such as your cooking, the clothes you wear, your physical appearance?
• Does your partner hit, kick or push you or otherwise physically hurt you?
•Does your partner force or pressure you into having sex?
• Does your partner withhold money or other financial resources from you?
• Does your partner belittle you publicly?
• Does your partner keep you from seeing family and friends?
• Does your partner threaten to take away your children, to call immigration or to “out you” publicly?
DeSilva said if you or someone you care about is in a relationship that is abusive, there are steps to take.
“We have a crisis hotline, 408-683-4118, which is available 24 hours a day,” she said. “We have a confidential shelter in the south county, and we have legal assistance and counseling services available, as well as a weekly support group.”
If someone chooses to stay in the relationship, DeSilva said, there are also things they can do to protect themselves: Be prepared to call 911 and make sure the children know how to, and be sure to stay out of the kitchen, bathroom and garage during an altercation.
Marilyn Dubil covers education and law enforcement for The Times. She can be reached by e-mail at md****@*************es.com or phoning (408) 779-4106 ext. 202.
