I never realized just how dangerous my column could be until a
few weeks ago. Actually, what I really mean is that I didn
’t realize just how flammable it could be.
I never realized just how dangerous my column could be until a few weeks ago. Actually, what I really mean is that I didn’t realize just how flammable it could be.
That is, until I almost lit my entire sorority house on fire with it. Have you ever seen the movie Backdraft? Well, it’s only luck that there wasn’t a real-life sequel to it two weeks ago.
It all started one Monday afternoon when my Big Sis came by the house, bringing me an aromatherapy oil lamp to help me relax and unwind. She thinks I stress out too much and that this nifty little lamp would solve all my problems. Sounds harmless, right? If only I knew then what I do now. I decided I’d try out the lavender oil first, so I dumped a whole bunch of the oil into the dish, lit the candle beneath it, and then hopped into the shower.
While “sudsing” up in the shower, I heard my roommate Nina yelling in the hallway. Now, on any other occasion, with any other person, I might begin to feel a little concerned because of all the shouting that was going on in the hallway. But with Nina, you know something’s wrong when she’s not yelling. So there I was, in the shower, trying to shampoo my hair, thinking, “Why can’t I just take a shower in peace?” I was still thinking this when she started screaming, “Fire!” I mean, how ridiculous, right?
My Big Sis thinks an aromatherapy lamp is going to calm me down when I can’t even make it through a ten-minute shower without someone frantically running through the hall shouting “Fire!” at the top of her lungs?
Then I heard the fire alarms go off and they were a lot louder than Nina. In fact, friends two blocks away could hear them. Of course, that’s when my extreme panic set in. I suddenly envisioned our house and all of our belongings becoming a massive heap of ash and soot, or worse, that I’d go down in flames with it. My immediate reaction? To jump out of the shower and run out the bathroom door. What did I forget? A towel. So I ran out of the bathroom and right into Nina, who took one look at me, and switched from yelling, “Fire!” to yelling, “Go back! Go back!” as she covered her eyes and motioned me back to the bathroom.
That’s when I realized that either the fire wasn’t that deadly or I really need to start working out at the gym more than four times a week.
I grabbed my towel and walked out, just in time to see Nina frantically stomping a burnt newspaper out into the carpet. The window in front of my “nifty” aromatherapy lamp was open and somehow the wind blew the page with my column on it right into the flame. Let’s try not to think about the fact that my New Year’s Resolution column mysteriously went up in flames. Could this be a sign…?
The fire alarms rang for a deafening ten minutes before a cop drove by and came inside to help us shut them off. Luckily, the fire department didn’t come out, although that’s actually a distressing thought, in the event that my column may combust in the future and my fire-battling roommate won’t be around to save the day.
To make the situation even worse, an entire fraternity has now christened me with a new nickname. Fire Starter. As catchy as it may sound, it gets old real quick. Trust me. “Hey, Fire Starter.” “How’s it going there, Fire Starter?” “Hope you don’t have any candles on you, Fire Starter.” “Got a light, Fire Starter?” I’m sure you get the idea.
To add to my pain, I was given a Judicial Board notice for violating house rules by having candles in my room. I had never even been told we weren’t allowed to have candles in our room, (everyone had candles in their rooms) but I now definitely see why we shouldn’t. As part of my punishment, I not only have to go over all the house rules with this semester’s pledge class, but I also have to assist the firefighters with their yearly fire prevention orientation that is presented to the house in the spring. Does anyone else see that as more of a reward then a punishment?
I hope everyone realizes, as I now do, that this fabulous column – in the wrong hands – can become a deadly weapon. So remember to dispose of it properly, and if you do have the burning desire to see it go up in flames, make sure that Nina is there to save you. Oh, and don’t waste your money on an aromatherapy lamp. They seem to only add to the stress, not diminish it.
Chrissy Bryant is freshman at San Jose State University. She writes A College View about local college life and things that catch her fancy. Contact Chrissy at ed******@*************es.com
