For parents that want to spend a few cherished moments away from
their kids, there are a few choices to consider. Perhaps a dinner
at Shadowbrooke in Capitola, a stroll on the beach with views of
Pebble Beach, or a concert at the Mountain Winery may top the list.
For those parents who want their kids in their memories 24/7,
there’s the youth sports picture day with purchased memories that
will last a lifetime.
For parents that want to spend a few cherished moments away from their kids, there are a few choices to consider.
Perhaps a dinner at Shadowbrooke in Capitola, a stroll on the beach with views of Pebble Beach, or a concert at the Mountain Winery may top the list.
For those parents who want their kids in their memories 24/7, there’s the youth sports picture day with purchased memories that will last a lifetime.
Want your kid’s button on every blouse or shirt you own? No problem, you can get it. Or slide your computer mouse over your child’s face every time you check your e-mail? Hey, they’ve got you covered.
Remember the days when the little old camera shop charged you $9.95 for a team shot, an eight by ten picture and a few wallet size cutouts. Not anymore. Not even close. We’re talking big business.
Now you’ve got professional trading cards, magazine covers and gift plaques.
You can order from the full course menu or ala carte by the picture waitress who’s running through the selections like a telemarketer.
By carefully choosing everything that can be distributed to grandparents, aunts, uncles, co-workers, distant relatives, neighbors, friends, the pastor of your church, teachers, the receptionist at the theater, your gardener, the mail delivery person, the UPS guy, the guy who dries your car at the car wash and every living person who has met your child personally in the past year, you could easily spend around $1,500.
If your all-star is a multiple sport athlete you get to do it all over again in six months. After a couple of seasons I’m sure your den will resemble a sports memorabilia store.
Want even more? Love your kid’s mug shot? Have I got the solution for you.
At Plaster Your Child’s Face Anywhere and Everywhere Dot Com you can take things to the highest memory level and achieve the company’s slogan.
They can put your little cherub’s face on a VTA bus, so that when you’re dining at some street-side restaurant you’ll be able to see it go buy every 20 minutes.
No need to contact the baby sitter to hear your little one’s voice.
Fathers who retreat to the serenity of their second office to read the daily sports page can view there little star’s picture on every sheet of that extra soft ply toilet paper.
A years supply is relatively cheap.
Every mother has picture magnets plastered on the refrigerator door dating back to the ultrasound shot of her unborn children.
Now, she can purchase dinner placemats, napkins, pots, pans and a baking sheet complete with a recipe for Toll House cookies. All come with a shot of your child, or a buddy shot, if you really like the kid next door.
Yes, Plaster Your Child’s Face Anywhere and Everywhere Dot Com, has it all.
Going to the beach this summer? You can now get one of those Cessnas that pull a message though the sky to drag your child’s picture instead. Priceless!
Your kid will love you forever or bury themselves in the sand.
Have the flu and you’re bedridden? Tissues with your kid’s picture on them should encourage you to get well fast. Or climb under the covers with embarrassment, knowing you actually spent money on something you crumble up and discard under the bed.
But if you really want to stick with the real thing and resort to just ordering a deluxe pack, an all-star pack, a pair pack, a score pack, a player pack, a fun pack, a hot pack, a cool pack, a family pack, sport pack, an MVP pack or the premium and mega pack, go right ahead.
Rest assured, however, that your child will never be out of your sight or memory, even though you think you’ve escaped them to spend some quiet time sipping a latte at Starbucks.
Rich Taylor is the CEO and head instructor of California Pitching Academy and a scout for the New York Mets. Reach him at
rj********@ya***.com
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