I never thought I
’d die alone, I laughed the loudest, who’d have known. I’m too
depressed to go on, you’ll be sorry when I’m gone, I never
conquered, rarely came, 16 just held such better days …” – Mark
Hoppus, Blink-182.
I never thought I’d die alone, I laughed the loudest, who’d have known. I’m too depressed to go on, you’ll be sorry when I’m gone, I never conquered, rarely came, 16 just held such better days …” – Mark Hoppus, Blink-182.
Each year, almost 5,000 young people, ages 15 to 24, kill themselves. The rate of suicide for this particular age group has nearly tripled since 1960, making it the third leading cause of death in adolescents and the second leading cause of death among college age youth.
Teenage years are definitely not easy. I think just about everyone has experienced a rough period of confusion while growing up. Teenagers experience strong feelings of stress, confusion, self-doubt, pressure to succeed, financial uncertainty and other fears while growing up. Many of us are stressing over where we’ll be accepted to college next year, or that we’re not excelling well enough in academics or sports. Trying to get through a tough relationship or break-up, social issues and demanding after-school jobs are also sources of stress and anxiety.
While dealing with all this teenage drama, you may feel like you need answers that no one can give you. That is enough to make any teen feel quite alone and hopeless.
It’s hard to believe that a teenager who has lived for such a short period of time would want to kill himself or herself. But some teens feel that the only “solution” to their problems is suicide. Suicidal adolescents tend to view a temporary situation as a permanent problem. Some teenagers are being forced to deal with challenges far beyond their control, such as divorce, family alcoholism, domestic violence or even sexual abuse. Even in a loving family environment, these problems would be difficult to deal with, but imagine how hard it would be if the teen didn’t have a supportive home life.
Many teens who that feel they have nowhere to turn will experiment with drugs or alcohol in order to find solace, or they will express their rage and frustration through acts of violence or destruction, hoping to relieve the pressure.
Depression is also a strong factor when examining causes of teenage suicide. All the feelings of helplessness and worthlessness that can accompany depression, along with disturbances in sleep or appetite, can contribute to a downward spiral of health and grades, further clouding a teen’s perspective, making even simple thought seem excruciatingly difficult.
A family history of suicide also presents a significant risk factor in a young person. The link might be due to the fact that teens often identify with the people closest to them, and if a loved one viewed suicide as the only option, the troubled teen might see it that way as well.
Additionally, there may also be a genetic link, because studies show that biological relatives of a suicidal person are six times more likely to attempt or succeed in suicide than are adoptive relatives.
The good news is that depression and suicidal tendencies are treatable mental disorders. The first step is to have the adolescent’s illness recognized and diagnosed so that an appropriate treatment plan can be enacted. Sometimes parents are doubtful whether their child has a serious problem, so a psychiatric examination can be very helpful.
Even without the help of a psychiatrist, there are many signs you can look for in your child or friend. Changes in eating and sleeping habits, violent actions, rebellious behavior, running away, drug and alcohol use, unusual neglect of personal appearance, marked personality change, loss of interest in pleasurable activities, an intolerance of praise or rewards, frequent complaints about physical symptoms, and withdrawal from friends, family and regular activities are all signs of teen depression or emotional discomfort that could lead to suicide.
There are also several signs that indicate the possibility that a suicide attempt may be near. Signs may include teen complains of being a bad person or feeling “rotten inside.” Verbal hints of suicide such as “I won’t be a problem for you much longer,” or “Nothing matters, it’s no use, I just don’t care anymore,” should be taken seriously in case your child or friend really feels this level of despair. No suicide threat, whether direct or indirect, should be taken lightly. If a child or adolescent says, “I want to kill myself,” or “I’m going to commit suicide,” immediately seek evaluation from a psychiatrist or physician.
If the teen has an obsession with death or has poems, essays and drawings that refer to death, it can be a definite warning sign of suicide. It can also be a warning sign if a teen begins to give away personal items, such as favorite possessions.
If someone you know suffers from any of these symptoms, you can call Suicide and Crisis Services and help them take the first step in getting in control.
All teens have mood swings in which they feel sad, angry, frustrated and alone. They may lash out in an effort to release the tension. (Sorry, mom.) When your life is like a 24/7 roller coaster ride, it makes sense for your emotions to fluctuate a little. Having a bad day or feeling a little helpless once in a while does not mean you’re depressed or suicidal. But if these depressed mood swings hang around for more than two weeks, it is very possible for serious depression to set in.
I never understood the serious reality of teenage suicide and I’m sad that it touched our small town. I realize now, that teen suicide is real and it can happen to anyone. I have several friends who are dealing with hard times and I plan on making sure they know they have someone who is always there for them.
Hopefully, we all realize now how important it is to pay attention to a child or friend when they are struggling through difficult times. There are so many warning signs of depression and suicide. If we all looked out for one another, we might actually have a chance of changing the number of suicides.
If you feel that someone is struggling emotionally, offer to help and to listen. Encourage depressed teens to talk about their feelings. Listen, don’t lecture. Always trust your instincts. If you feel that the situation may be serious, seek immediate help.
Teachers, parents, and friends need to be aware of what is going on in their teen’s life. It is important to be involved and talk to your teenager. We may not act like we need or welcome it, but we all want to have someone care about us and take interest in our lives. It’s so easy for a teen to get caught up in all the stress and drama, and suddenly feel like there is no way out.
We can all help by being there to listen and comfort a child with depression or other emotional struggles. A major cause of teen depression and suicide is the feeling that no one cares about them and their problems are only a burden. These feelings only make the problem worse.
Reassure your teen that he or she has someone to turn to by being there to help. If we all pay more attention to the people around us and take their feelings seriously, I know we can change the suicide rate and save someone’s life in the process. Start today. Take your child or friend out to coffee and find out what’s going on in their life. Talk to them. Trust me, that’s what we teenagers need. Plus, the coffee’s a nice bonus.
Chrissy Bryant is a senior at Live Oak High School. She alternates weekly with Melissa Ballard in writing Teen Perspective. Contact her at sh**********@***oo.com
