Mushroom City Memoirs
They said a billion people were watching last week on Oscar night when the love fest for the stars was beamed around the world. Except, honestly, the number of viewers sounds a tad bit inflated, doesn’t it? And although it seemed the show was a bit blah this year, Oscar hype goes on for days. But who am I to argue? I was at the Oscars in spirit, fastened to the front of my telly, even though my expensive designer gown seemed to be MIA.
Like so many viewers, I love Oscar night. I look forward to seeing who will bring home the golden trophy and if my favorite movie will win, which it did not. I was rooting for “Little Miss Sunshine” to take best film, but I had a rather narrow perspective because it turns out it was the only nominated movie that I’d actually seen, a major drop from previous years. Once, over the space of a weekend, I dragged my beleaguered spouse on a movie marathon, managing to see every single nominee for best picture before the Oscars aired. I felt so in the know that I half expected a phone call from the Academy asking for my opinion.
This year my favorite movie acquired a few statuettes, which made me happy because the film itself made me happy. It centers on the Hoovers of Albuquerque, and – oh, boy – these folks indeed put the “fun” in dysfunctional, as they say. The film covered two of my favorite movie themes – families and road trips – at the same time taking a grand poke at those loathsome child beauty pageants. The fact that Alan Arkin won for his portrayal of the randy, drug-addicted grandpa was a surprise and made my night.
This year I was all front and center to watch Ellen DeGeneres make her hosting debut. Ellen is my idea of everybody’s best gal pal. She is so familiar that she feels like family. Funny and down to earth, I was betting she would take the starch out of some of the stuffier aspects of the production – and for what it’s worth, I think she did just fine. I especially loved her meandering along the main aisle of power-house Oscar night luminaries, surreptitiously handing Martin Scorsese a screenplay she had supposedly written, then moving on to pass Steven Spielberg a pocket camera so he could shoot a picture of her with Clint Eastwood – to post on her MySpace page, she joked. Late in the program Ellen was there vacuuming up along the front row of designer-gown-clad celebs – a job, she said, she hadn’t realized came along with her hosting duties.
It’s anybody’s guess if Ellen’s turn at hosting the program induced the large number of nominees who claimed they were there “just to have fun.” “Fun” seemed to be the evening’s goal for the majority of nominees who were interviewed upon their red carpet arrival. The sentiment was hysterically overturned when DeGeneres joked that it was a “make or break night” for the nominees. “I cannot imagine what you people are going through,” she quipped.
But if DeGeneres was funny, Al Gore was no slouch either. He appeared to be warming up for a launch into a “major, major announcement” at Leonardo DiCaprio’s urging when the orchestra revved up and played him offstage. It seems the man who “used to be the next president of the United States” finally found his calling.
Sadly, though, there were no “I can’t believe she’s (or he’s) wearing that!” moments – and come on, people, isn’t that a major reason why we watch the Academy Awards? Cher and her gowns (or lack thereof) were nowhere in sight. And Bjork’s ungainly swan dress that she wore in 2000, looking for all the world like she was in the wrong place at the wrong time during an unfortunate hunting accident – has apparently been auctioned off for charity. I mean, who bid on that piece of road kill? DeGeneres capitalized on the Bjork dress the following year by wearing its clone at the Emmy Awards – noting that the dress was “business casual” attire. If there was a “stunning” fashion statement this year, it was probably Jack Nicholson’s shaved pate, which looked just plain bizarre sitting atop his ubiquitous dark glasses and evil-little-boy grin.
Although major Oscar gaffes tend to be rare, they certainly are memorable and are inclined to become part of pop culture lore for decades. A streaker crossing the stage in 1974 wearing nothing but goose pimples produced presenter David Niven’s famous quip that “the only laugh that man will probably ever get is for stripping and showing off his shortcomings.” Sally Field’s “You like me, you really like me” became a catch phrase ten years later. And both George C. Scott and Marlon Brando boycotted the event while winning Best Actor awards in 1970 and 1973.
Political outbursts occasionally surface during the Academy Awards, but this year’s production contained little reference to politics except that the issue of global warming is neither “red nor blue” – but rather green. The highly acclaimed film, “An Inconvenient Truth” was a catalyst for reminding viewers that the future of the earth – in the opinion of many – is in our hands.
And if there was one lovely surprise that popped out of the loads of Oscar nominees, it came during the reading of nominations for Best Live Action Short Film. First on the list of nominated films was “Binta and the Great Idea,” which just happened to have been screened at our very own Poppy Jasper Film Festival in November and was chosen as the local festival’s overall best film of 2006. Although it didn’t win the Academy Award, it’s nice to know that this little gem stopped first at our city’s annual fall film event before going on to become part of Oscar history.
I’d say that outdoes swan dresses and a naked guy any day.
Gale Hammond is a 23-year Morgan Hill resident. Reach her at
Ga*********@ao*.com
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