Editor’s Note: The title of this column has been changed
from
”
Taylor Made
”
to
”
A Sideline View.
”
After you’ve stuffed yourself with that butterball bird and a
calorie intake of over 20,000 in one sitting, it’s time to hit the
streets running with all the masses in search of the perfect gift
for your sports minded youth player.
Editor’s Note:
The title of this column has been changed from “Taylor Made” to “A Sideline View.”
After you’ve stuffed yourself with that butterball bird and a calorie intake of over 20,000 in one sitting, it’s time to hit the streets running with all the masses in search of the perfect gift for your sports minded youth player.
Deciding where to begin presents the first problem. Finding a sale that has the best value and a store with no line is the next dilemma. Good luck!
You and every other able bodied parent is getting ready to wrestle, push and shove, and jostle in line to achieve and secure the ultimate present. Even moms body slamming others to get to the sale rack is not an uncommon sight.
Now, picking the right sale is the next decision in your quest.
There’s the post Thanksgiving sale that begins at midnight this year at one sporting goods store and lasts until 3 a.m. If you have a special coupon that appeared in the Sports Journal of Medicine back in July, you can get in at midnight and receive another coupon that gets you a free Starbucks coffee that you must redeem between 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. that same morning.
All the items at this store are either 50 percent off midnight-1 a.m., 75 percent off 1-2 a.m. or free between 2-3 a.m. as long as you have a coupon from the Aug. 16 edition of a local paper.
If you’re one of the first 1,001 people in line you’ll receive yet another coupon allowing you to be one of the first 100 people in line the day after Christmas. Everything in the store that day will be two for one as long as you remember your 37-digit code posted on the front window.
Oh yeah, now about the gift.
Forget the I-Pod, I-Phone, I-Computer, I-Car or the I-got everything store. No young athlete can do with out a good pair of shoes. And believe me, there are plenty to choose from.
A perfect style is the “Midnight Running” shoe which enables your triathlon standout to train during graveyard hours in the dark, or the “Ambush” adventure shoe which allows your little tyke the opportunity to lie perfectly still and scare the #@^& out of you as you enter the bathroom early in the morning.
Oh, there’s more.
For kids that enjoy riding horses you can choose the Rodeo lifestyle shoe which was regularly listed at $179 but is now $19.99.
Got a kid with expensive taste but you have an empty pocketbook? You can purchase the Lexus model, which can only be worn inside a Porsche, Mercedes or Ferrari.
Tired of seeing your kids one day? Get the Vanish shoe and your problems are solved. Do your children get tired quickly? The Stamina might have the answer and it has an energy disc in the heel. Wow, no more vitamins!
If Christmas vacation seems to be getting too long and your kids need a time out every hour, you can purchase the Isolation basketball model that allows your hysteric bunch to play by themselves outside as you lock the front door.
Maybe your child is a space nut. No problem. Styles such as the Endeavor, Gemini, Lunar, Horizon, Eagle, or the Grid Centergy are all available, complete with a telescope that can be bought with a special coupon if you have the right shoe size and the coupons expiration date hasn’t been reached.
Not into shoes? Nothing can be better than the ultra-flex trampoline that can springboard your kids into the neighbors backyard pool. This certain design is advertised as a super safe design, which interpreted, means only one trip per month to the E.R. instead of two.
How about the Perfect Push Up? Your child may never use it, but since they look like paddles that re-start a persons heart in an emergency, your child can use it at the E.R while awaiting treatment for the trampoline injury.
Love the outdoors with your kids? Get the Weekender dome tent which lasts only a weekend, because after all the frustration in putting it up, it will never be removed from the bag again.
And don’t forget the 12-in-one multi-sport table. In a year all the parts will be lost in the backyard, but it will make a great coffee table.
So, while you’re looking at your cute kids with mashed potato coming out of their nose and cranberry sauce dribbling from their mouths, think of the gift journey that awaits you.
If you outfit yourself in elbow pads, shin guards and a football helmet, and you have a coupon, you’ll be ready.
Rich Taylor has been coaching youth sports for over 25 years, is the Co-Director of the ACE Powerband national arm strengthening program and formerly scouted and coached in professional baseball. Reach him at rj********@***oo.com.
