The two days of testimony leading up to the sentencing of Morgan
Hill resident Anthony Scott McDowell showed a range of emotions
from people who wanted McDowell in prison and those who wanted him
free.
The two days of testimony leading up to the sentencing of Morgan Hill resident Anthony Scott McDowell showed a range of emotions from people who wanted McDowell in prison and those who wanted him free.
But it was during the second day of testimony Tuesday that the wounds caused by the death of Erin Kinkel, the 15-year-old Gilroy cheerleader who died after being ejected from the bed of McDowell’s pick-up truck on a winding country road, showed signs that healing had begun. Just over a year later, Scott Kinkel embraced the man held responsible for his daughter’s death.
That marked the most powerful twist in an almost-bizarre day in court as emotions from the parade of speakers ranged from anger to tears. Thirteen people spoke – including two who were present the night Erin Kinkel died – during the seven-hour court hearing Tuesday.
Even McDowell, who has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter, proposed jail time for himself during an eloquent and revealing 45-minute speech during which he broke down repeatedly.
“I honestly don’t know what my choice (for punishment) would be. I have to admit I’m leaning toward the harshest possible punishment because I feel that could somehow, some way, start the healing process,” he said. “My punishment does not start when you give it to me. My punishment started that night when I knelt next to Erin. My punishment started that instant and my punishment will never end.”
But McDowell was hardly the only one present who sought a strict sentence, Deputy District Attorney Amir Alem and Erin Kinkel’s mother, also advocated sending him to prison.
While addressing the court and reflecting on the nightmare his life has become since Erin Kinkel’s death, McDowell repeatedly uttered the words the Kinkel family had longed to hear: “I’m sorry.”
He spoke of the pain and guilt that dominates his life. The disgust he feels when he sees himself in the mirror each morning. And, the dreams that haunt him when he goes to bed each night.
As he told his story, his family members, in addition to friends and supporters of the Kinkel family, wept openly.
“To Mr. and Mrs. Kinkel, family and friends: It’s been a long time, but I am sorry. I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry for what happened that night,” McDowell began. “I made a decision that night to leave that house, to start my vehicle with two innocent lives in my hands. To stop yet again and yet again start my vehicle with two innocent lives (in the bed.)”
He told Erin Kinkel’s parents that he and each of the teenagers present during the crash did all they could to revive the young woman. He said he knelt next her until paramedics arrived hoping she would survive the fateful night.
“I thought she was still breathing, but unfortunately, the blood was clotting in her mouth,” he said. “So with my own two hands, I tried to keep her breathing. That is a vision I can never get rid of. A young girl’s blood is on my hands for the rest of my life.”
He claimed, as did several of the speakers who followed, that he did, in fact, try to apologize to the Kinkels the day after the crash. The Kinkels have said they received no apology until late last month.
When McDowell concluded, Judge Bernardini called a 10-minute recess. After regaining his composure, McDowell approached the Kinkels, still seated in the front row, and shared a long embrace with Erin Kinkel’s father.
“He went to shake my hand, and I hugged him because I needed to,” Scott Kinkel said later, during a recess at Santa Clara County Superior Court in San Martin Tuesday. “I told him I know he would never hurt my daughter on purpose.”
It was an early Sunday morning on a carefree summer day on Aug. 1, 2004. Erin Kinkel left her family’s Gilroy home to return some movies with friends and grab a quick bite to eat. On the way home, Erin Kinkel, McDowell and several other friends decided to drive on Redwood Retreat Road before dropping her back home for the evening. Though there was room in the cab of McDowell’s truck, Erin Kinkel and her friend Cassandra Lopez decided to ride unrestrained in the bed. A sudden curve in the road resulted in McDowell veering onto the shoulder, up an embankment and into a tree. Kinkel was ejected onto the paved road where the impact took her life. Lopez, however, suffered moderate minor injuries.
But McDowell’s heartfelt statements came in the middle of a day where emotions exploded into yelling in the courtroom from his grandfather, W.M. McDowell.
“(McDowell has been) the love of my life for so many years, and I heard you people yesterday say so many things that aren’t true about my grandson,” he said, adding that he became bitter toward the Kinkels when McDowell was asked not to attend Erin Kinkel’s funeral.
Earlier Tuesday morning, Deputy DA Alem called his final two speakers and played a 10-minute slide presentation. About 20 people who knew Erin Kinkel spoke during the sentencing, including Jason Cole, her former boyfriend. He admonished McDowell for the irresponsible behavior that killed his girlfriend. He said McDowell “only showed remorse when he knew there was no other way out, and we all see that.”
Miki Kinkel talked about her daughter for more than an hour – telling of girl who was deeply loved by friends and family.
On Tuesday afternoon, two of the people who survived the crash paid their respects to the Kinkels and defended McDowell.
Lopez said she’ll never forget the awful image of Erin Kinkel’s body lying motionless on the road.
“When it happened, I was frozen,” Lopez said, crying. “Nobody could do anything but Tony – the strongest one of all. He’s been the strongest one since then.”
Ismael Marisclan was riding next to McDowell in the cab of the truck and frantically searched for cell phone reception to call 911 once he saw Kinkel injured.
“Do you know how it feels to never give her your last respects? Do you know how it feels to be on your knees on a dark, windy road, begging, praying because you wish it was yourself instead of her?” he said. “If you want to hate us, go ahead. We hate ourselves.”
McDowell’s mother, Cheryl, was the last to speak on his behalf. She said she feels like she lost her son the night of the crash because he is a different person.
“Ultimately, I’m sorry, but we’re stuck here and we’re here every day. We’re here with a reminder …” she said. “The ultimate thing we all have to do here, is we all have to forgive.”
