EDITOR: It is difficult for us to comprehend that it has been a
year since our son
’s Willie’s death at age 19. The passage of time had been
excruciating slow yet blazingly swift, a sorrow beyond words.
EDITOR:
It is difficult for us to comprehend that it has been a year since our son’s Willie’s death at age 19. The passage of time had been excruciating slow yet blazingly swift, a sorrow beyond words. A year, how can that be? Our family has only begun to comprehend the enormity of loss at Willie’s passing that has forever changed our lives.
Tragedy and change walk hand in hand. We can only pray for the grace to face the changes as they come. Our singular wish is the one thing that can never be. We mourn for our missing piece. We are now a family of three.
When Willie died, Times columnist Lacey Green wrote a story about him and the community of Morgan Hill. She wrote how we come together when the need arises. Her words have proved prophetic. I have read volumes of books, articles and attended groups addressing the loss of a child. A great deal has been said about community isolation that families experience after such a loss, complicated and more profound if the death involves a suicide. This is not our story.
Through our darkest hours we have bared witness to profound acts of generosity of spirit. In actions both large and small we have felt the loving arms of our community surrounding us, holding us up. When we have felt like we were standing in quicksand, you provided a foundation. Wounded, we thought we, too, would die, from hearts that have been broken.
It was you who helped gather up the pieces of our shattered lives. You have continued to call. You have sent cards, left flowers and books. You’ve written letters and songs. You’ve cooked meals when we didn’t want to eat. You have met with us weekly, volunteering your time for counseling. You bestowed the cherished watercolor painted for Willie. At times we have been enveloped in grief and sapped of the strength to respond and you have respected our circumstances. We are mindful and appreciative of each time you reached out to us.
The Morgan Hill schools have proved sensitive beyond their boundaries to provide a safe and caring environment under extremely difficult circumstances. Many churches, which we have had no affiliation, offered their support and comfort. Four young men from the Pentecostal Church were extraordinary in their kindness. The police have continued to be supportive. Our jobs have become more than that. You helped us through unimaginable heartache, shown patience and empathy when we simply could not make it through the day.
And our dearest friends, God bless you, have had the insight to just listen, and listen still.
When Bill spoke at Willie’s memorial, he said, “then there are the kids.” Willie and Amy’s friends have continued to be an inspiration to us. You have shown such strength and wisdom that we can no longer consider you kids. In many ways these young men and women have been our life support. How courageous you have been to come over, never knowing what you would be faced with. You have enabled us to be in the moment, whatever that turned out to be. You have walked through our door unafraid, time and again. You have bared witness to the purity of our emotions. Such bravery for ones so young.
Which brings us back to Morgan Hill. Throughout our year of anguish and despair you have helped us survive. You have raised great children. Your prayers, which have flowed freely and frequently, have been received. Your support, your acknowledgment, the sentiments you’ve expressed has had a profound impact on what has seemed the unbearable. This is our truth, for there is no other way we could have endured this horrific year. It has been you who have given us the gift of hope.
Evelyn McGeever, Morgan Hill
