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Last Wednesday is a day that will live in infamy. Well, maybe not infamy, but it is a day that my family will forever remember as the day Mom downloaded Pokémon Go and lost her ever-loving mind. So yeah, no infamy, but a whole lot of crazy. I may be slightly obsessed by it. And by slightly I mean I spend lots of time trying to figure out the darn game.
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Look, I did not mean to become obsessed. I am not a gamer. The most gaming I’ve ever done is trying to get three colored jellies in a row or use some ticked off birds to kill green pigs. But for a week or so, I’ve heard about Pokémon Go, everywhere. Friends all over the country started posting about their hunts. It was in the news. It was even on the Facebook page for the Gilroy Neighborhood Watch.
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So I downloaded it. And that is how the crazy started.
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After downloading the game I realized several very important things. I don’t know how to catch a Pokémon. I don’t know what Pokémon are worth. I don’t know how to lure a Pokémon. I don’t know how to incubate the Pokémon. I’m actually not even 100 percent sure what a Pokémon is. Also, the game takes place outdoors and involves walking, two things I’m certain are very bad for me and that I normally avoid at all costs.
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But I started hunting Pokémon anyway. And when I say hunting, I really mean I walked through my neighborhood yelling at my phone. I could see the Pokémon, but not catch them. Apparently, every Pokémon in my neighborhood lives in the backyards of my neighbors who probably would not take kindly to finding me traipsing through their roses on the hunt for some sort of beastie.
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I definitely am not good at this game. On the other hand, my steps for the day significantly increased, although I did have a sore throat from yelling at the Pokémon to come out and stop hiding like the scared little monsters they are. I may be taking this a bit personally. Also? There may have been swear words involved.
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Anyway, I then enlisted the help of my son, Harry. Who resisted helping me. In fact, he laughed hysterically and I don’t think he’s stopped laughing at me since last Wednesday. Clearly, he was not going to be any help to me in my quest to conquer Pokémon. So I talked Harry into downloading it.
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And that is why, last night our neighbor discovered Harry walking up hills and over sidewalks to catch Pikachu while I wandered around, lost. That is also why our neighbor clearly thinks we are insane as she watched Harry stand near the top of a hill proclaiming himself the Great Pikachu Catcher.
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Turns out, insanity is contagious. Who knew?
In any event, I’ve now spent several hours reading articles with titles like “Pokémon Go for dummies” and “A Middle-aged Woman’s Guide to Pokémon.” And tonight, I will hunt again. And maybe actually catch something.
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The game takes place outdoors and involves walking, two things I’m certain are very bad for me and that I normally avoid at all costs.
