There aren’t too many things that can make you feel worse than when you do something really, really stupid. Lately, I think I have captured first prize in the stupid competition. I can only hope that things come in groups of three and that I don’t have to worry for a while.
You see, my recent stupid run started a few weeks ago when, against Lady M’s advice, I decided that the Morgan Hill winds weren’t strong enough to cause any damage to our outdoor furniture. So, I passed on lowering one of the umbrellas on our patio table. The next morning, guess what. We had an umbrella with a 90-degree bend in the middle of its mast. I guess it would have worked OK at sunup and sundown, but aside from when the sun arose to slightly above the horizon or for maybe an hour before sundown, it was pretty much useless.
That was number one. A few hundred dollars later, we were back in business and I didn’t think much more about it. Just an unfortunate accident, I figured.
Then, along came number two. Seems I parked our nearly new SUV in the garage and opened the tailgate to unload some stuff. Without thinking – a fairly common condition in my case – I lowered the garage door. Well, you know the handle that hangs down from the garage door opener so you can manually open the door in case of a power failure? Well, it put a beautiful gouge in the raised tailgate. Actually, it was the second gouge. When we saw the first one, we thought some vindictive soul had intentionally scratched the tailgate to get even for some evil deed that I had done to him or her. But no, it was the garage door that was getting its revenge for something I must have done to it.
But once again, just an unfortunate accident.
Then number three came along. And it was the winner. Because I was in a terrible hurry to do something of little or no consequence – for some reason, I always seem to be in a hurry – I began to back out of the garage without bothering to raise the garage door. You guessed it: a splintered garage door panel that had to be replaced.
I called a garage door company in a neighboring city from whom I had just received an 50% savings advertising circular. They came out and immediately told me that a replacement panel was not available and that we would have to replace the entire wood door with a steel door. While at it, they strongly recommended that we replace the garage door opener and repaint the house so it would match the new “superior” door.
While at it, they also suggested that we re-tile the roof, replace the windows with triple pane glass, and install a solar panel array to reduce our electric bill. I was stunned when the total estimate to repair the door with all of the add-ons came to just under three-million dollars. But, they said, they could get it all done in a week, maybe less.
Fortunately, I called Sig at Morgan Hill Garage Door Company. Sig showed up the next day, looked at the job and gave me a reasonable estimate for replacing the one damaged panel. I gave him the go-ahead. Three days later, his professional crew showed up with a replacement panel that was a near-perfect match to the damaged one. They installed it and were on their way in about an hour.
Now I’ve had numerous “accidents” over the years but never quite so many in such a short time. I remember years ago when planning for a camping trip with my children, I tried to drive in the garage with a rented storage container fastened to the car roof. It didn’t make it. Another garage door repair. But that was long ago. I thought those days were all behind me. Now, if these occurrences do really come in threes, I figure I’m in the clear for the next decade or two.
Or maybe, I should just leave the car in the driveway and hope the wind doesn’t blow a tree – or a broken umbrella – on it.
One final, totally unrelated note: Our congratulations to Laura and Jeff Lundy. Laura for completing a very successful year as president of Morgan Hill’s chapter of Rotary International. And to Jeff for putting up with the demands that her position and accomplishment put on him. To both: A deserved “Well done!”
Henry “Hank” Miller is a retired rocket scientist, he has an interest in classic automobiles, good conversation, martinis and community affairs. Reach him at
ha******@gm***.com
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