If you
’re a new baseball parent and your son or daughter is just
beginning tee-ball you’re embarking on more than a three-hour tour.
You’ve signed up for a baseball cruise that revolves around a
diamond every year. And it begins with hitting a ball off a tee. If
you’ve ever witnessed a tee-ball ga
me, it’s something that’s absolutely priceless. It’s baseball at
its best. No rules, no scorekeeping and no adult intervention
except for the coaches. There won’t be any talk of steroids or
boards of directors and players canceling a season because they
couldn’t agree on what snack the pl
ayers should get after the game. There won’t be any agents
sniffing around the backstop looking for the next million-dollar
hitter and offering parents new cars and trips to Antigua.
If you’re a new baseball parent and your son or daughter is just beginning tee-ball you’re embarking on more than a three-hour tour. You’ve signed up for a baseball cruise that revolves around a diamond every year. And it begins with hitting a ball off a tee. If you’ve ever witnessed a tee-ball game, it’s something that’s absolutely priceless. It’s baseball at its best. No rules, no scorekeeping and no adult intervention except for the coaches.
There won’t be any talk of steroids or boards of directors and players canceling a season because they couldn’t agree on what snack the players should get after the game. There won’t be any agents sniffing around the backstop looking for the next million-dollar hitter and offering parents new cars and trips to Antigua.
Nope. None of these. What you will see are a lot of laughs and a whole lot of fun. You’ll also see things that you could never have imagined would happen in a baseball game. You might see little Joey looking to the sky and trying to figure out if that’s the Southwest Airlines flying whale or Federal Express’s next mail shipment.
There might be one inning where you’ll look up and all the players from your outfield positions are missing, only to discover that they’re all at the port-a-potty. You’ll also discover that the port-a-potty is probably one of the most important pieces of equipment a tee-ball league needs for the season. Without it, you’ll be invading the restroom at Starbucks or carrying an extra pair of Spiderman underwear.
Players will ask pertinent questions like, “When is this over?” or “What snack do we have today?” Or, “Why do I have to play way out there?” Coaches will send players out to shortstop and second and then realize little Johnny hasn’t got a clue where shortstop is and little Stephanie went and stood right on second. A catcher may think his protective cup is actually an oxygen mask and the third baseman may field a ground ball cleanly and toss it to his mom on the sideline, interrupting her reading of the new Dr. Phil book.
Parents will start to learn the basic rules and nuances of the game, finding out to their amazement that there are not three outs in an inning, tie does not go to the runner and bubble gum chew will not relax most kids. They’ll also find that a 35-inch, 35-ounce bat won’t produce more home runs and a glove twice the size of an oven mitt won’t snag more pop ups. However, every youngster will tell you they can swing a bat that size and the glove fits perfect enough to field a bowling ball!
As you’re settling down to watch one of these masterpieces don’t be surprised if the coach comes up to you and asks you if you can coach second base. Yes, second base. Because if you don’t coach second base, players may take a wrong turn and end up at Safeway. Then tee-ball could actually turn out to be a three-hour tour.
