Friends play different roles in our lives as they help us define
ourselves.
Friends play different roles in our lives as they help us define ourselves.
Friends support us when we have a problem, they are genuinely happy when you get an award or promotion, they help you look your best when you have a hot date, they keep you in check when you need it. But most importantly of all, they help you get through a rainy day making you feel beautiful, smart, special and loved.
Growing up, I was always told that my brothers, sisters, and cousins were my friends, and blood came first. That’s the first thing I was taught about friendship. Despite the friendship within the blood clan, once a friend entered my life, she became part of my family.
I met my first friend during my kindergarten year. She was very friendly and invited me to play jump rope with her and her friends, and I eagerly accepted. She made me feel welcome. I didn’t know any English but somehow we communicated with each other, which made me feel much more confident.
Luckily, we lived very close to each other and visited one another often. One day I would go over to her house and play Barbies and the other she would come over to my house to play on the swing which my grandfather had built on the tree in front of our house.
This lasted for about five years until we entered junior high. During my junior years I met some wonderful friends who were always there and made sure that I had someone to accompany me to the restroom, or gave me that extra little kick to go up to that kid I always had a crush on. I remember talking on the phone with her every day after school and telling her about the kid in class who wrote me a letter or about the girl who hated my guts and wanted “to kick my butt” because of the gossip that was going around campus.
She would always give me balloons on my birthday and sang to me “happy birthday” early in the morning before the day even began. I don’t know what happened to our friendship, but I sure did enjoy it while we were friends.
I just know we broke away and we became very distant.
High school, on the other hand, can be characterized by a single word. Drama. During high school, jealousy begins, boyfriends, worrying about grades, parents always getting on your case, making sure your up to date with fashion, making sure you don’t go over weight, and most importantly, making sure you ‘fit’ in with the rest of the school crowed. But that’s a whole different scenario.
During high school, many students go through identity crises which may lead to various problems in and outside of school. This is when many of us seem to be hanging around with the wrong type of people, who are usually the ones that get us in trouble with our parents, and even tend to lower our grades by getting us in situations we are better off without.
There are also those that can take us into a “danger zone,” where they often bring negative, competitive or abusive friend relationships. Sometimes we hang around the with the people who are simply not good for us. And as we try to achieve and grow, they often tend to keep pulling us down. Often this dynamic is difficult to identify and stop. Many of us are lucky enough to break away from these type of friends before it is too late and end up with consequences we might never overcome such as pregnancies, gangs, drugs, dropping out of school or not planning to go to college.
I can’t say I haven’t had a “good friend” in life because I have. I’ve had many with whom I’ve shared my problems, secrets and strongly depended on. But my best friend that has always stayed by my side has always been my mother. That’s the only person I can truly say has been my friend from day one. My mother is the only person who knows everything about me as I am sure many other mothers know about their children.
My message to other mothers is to never give up on their children, because our teenage years are when we need our mothers the most. I believe God created all mothers as angels who guide us from all harm and bad people in this world.
Thanks to my mother’s advice, and sometimes necessary yelling, I have valued the true friendship we both share. She has guided me during my most troubled times and has never given up on me even when others thought she was just wasting her time. Thanks to her, I have become the person I am today.
Cindy Hernandez is a senior at Live Oak, is ASB commissioner of diversity in ASB and features editor on the student newspaper, the Oak Leaf. She alternates writing for Teen Perspective with Yasser Elassal and Courtney Gavin. Contact Cindy at editormh @morganhilltimes.com/
