You can see them coming from a mile away before practice or a
game and you know they
’re going to stalk you for money. You cower and cringe, knowing
you don’t have your checkbook and will have to give some lame
excuse on why you don’t have any payment. If you picked up candy to
sell, they want your money. If your son or daughter has an
embroidered hat with their name, number,
birth date, shoe size and home address on the hat, they want
more money. It’s like having IRS agents in the stands, only more
congenial.
You can see them coming from a mile away before practice or a game and you know they’re going to stalk you for money. You cower and cringe, knowing you don’t have your checkbook and will have to give some lame excuse on why you don’t have any payment.
If you picked up candy to sell, they want your money. If your son or daughter has an embroidered hat with their name, number, birth date, shoe size and home address on the hat, they want more money. It’s like having IRS agents in the stands, only more congenial.
They send you late night e-mails giving you info on little Johnny’s birthday party, including where he’s registered for gifts and they awaken you the next morning to ask you if you got the e-mail.
They find the best deals on socks, belts, shoes and will let you know who has a small-sized athletic supporter and who also has thosee designer Tommy Hilfiger sliding pants.
They provide you with a snack list so you can purchase a pallet of sports drinks and jelly belly fruit rollups from Costco, and they also let you know what day you’ll be working the snack shack so you can utter that famous phrase, “will that be for here or to take on the field?”
Each of them knows Chuck E. Cheese personally, has underground ties with every pizza joint manager in town, can get trophies in a week, and always knows someone with a pool, thereby making it easier to schedule a team party where they can give the managers and coaches a gift certificate for a year’s supply of chili fries.
They are the lifeblood of every team. Without them the season would be a disaster and chaos would abound. Post-game snacks would be a packet of Skittles, and the team hat and uniform would qualify for Barnum and Bailey’s circus attire. Players would be showing up at the wrong place for practice and each parent would have to purchase a Thomas Guide for driving directions.
They give a lot of dedicated time and put a lot of organization into what they do. And, their coordinated efforts don’t go unnoticed and they act as a great buffer between the parents and coaches.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m talking about the “team mom” (or “team parent,” if you will).
My hat goes off to every single one of them who took the time to make sure every player had a great and memorable season filled with fun.
They’re always thinking about what’s in the best interest of each kid and each team.
For this, and for everything else they do to make the season more streamlined, I applaud them. And you should, too.
Next season, however, I’m going to stay one step ahead of these youth baseball mini-IRS agents.
I’m going to purchase a pre-charged Visa Card and present it to them at the beginning of the season and say “Charge it,” whenever they want my money.
I just hope I don’t end up with an Oscar De La Renta baseball top.
