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It’s back to school time and you know what that means. Yes, it’s time to drop off the kids at school and do the happy dance. For the next several months, your mornings will be spent in the drop off line—a genuinely happy place.
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At least for parents. For kids? Not so much.
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But in that happy place, you can count on seeing at least one of the following types of parents. Oh, who am I kidding? You’re going to see all of them.
The PTA mom
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This is the mom whose child is at the head of the line. PTA mom usually carries her iPad and is seen taking pictures, notes and pestering the teacher to become the room mother, because she’s not busy enough running the PTA. I honestly do not know where PTA mom gets her energy, but I suspect her first coffee of the day has at least three shots of espresso.
The genius mom
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This mother parents the most intelligent child in the universe. Seriously. The kid is the next Stephen Hawking. While at drop-off, this mom corners the principal, the vice principal, her child’s teacher and the crosswalk lady to discuss the advanced curriculum her genius needs to stay on track for the Harvard Class of 2030.
The hot dad
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The hot dad is usually the only guy in the drop-off line. He doesn’t even have to be hot, to be honest. He just has to be male and single or even just male and not wearing his wedding ring that morning. There is something about a guy dropping his kid off at school that makes moms dressed in their pajamas go weak at the knees.
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Once moms know there is a hot dad at drop off, they will be up early, get dressed, put on makeup and do their hair. For at least a month—or until hot dad stops doing drop-off duty—all the moms are dressed and presentable. After that, it’s back to jammies.
The sports parent
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This parent is the most frazzled on the planet. They usually spend drop-off getting an assortment of sticks, balls and sports bags out of the car and into the hands of the correct child. If they make it through the line with their SUV empty, they consider it a win. If you are behind this parent in the carpool line, you can count on spending at least 15 minutes watching them unload gear.
The Pinterest mom
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You can easily recognize this mother. She has spent her entire summer on Pinterest learning to make bento boxes out of old tupperware and cupcake baking cups. Her daughter has a handmade tissue paper flower in her hair and a bedazzled backpack. Her son is methodically searching through his pencil box for a plain pencil so he doesn’t have to use the ones she decorated with miniature dinosaurs and labelled with his name.
The frazzled parent
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This is the parent who has no idea how the carpool line works. You will usually recognize this parent when they drive through the carpool line in the wrong direction, followed by several teachers and administrators who are screaming frantically, “Drop-off is south! Drop-off is south!” This parent is also the one who holds up the line to scribble notes to teachers, sign permission slips and help their equally frazzled children find their math homework.
You will usually recognize this parent when they drive through the carpool line in the wrong direction, followed by several teachers and administrators who are screaming frantically, “Drop-off is south! Drop-off is south!”
