At the risk of beating a dead horse, I have to comment yet again on underage drinking, mostly in response to a column printed earlier this week in a certain paper up north, in which the columnist asked how does one raise responsible drinkers if youth aren’t supposed to drink alcohol before the age of 21?
Her column was written after the news about the Palo Alto police, responding to complaints about noise and disorderly conduct, discovering a party where there was underage drinking, some kids passed out, and supervising parents, one of whom is an elementary school teacher. One of the notable things in the news report was the parents’ response: “What’s the big deal? At least they are here with us and we can supervise them.”
This is a very common response when I talk to parents about underage drinking. The ones who espouse this approach so clearly remember their close calls with potentially life-altering or ending danger when they were teens and were drinking with their friends. They recall the confusion and horror, and they don’t want their kids to go through the same thing. Understandable. But they don’t have the same attitude about teen sex. Host it at your home? “Oh, God, no!”
Anyway, this incident led to the question from the columnist, who asked how reasonable is it to keep kids from drinking entirely and is it possible, especially in this California culture of which drinking wine is so big a part, and especially when kids are likely to break the rules and drink before the legal age, to teach kids to drink responsibly. She checked into a couple of local laws and found that it’s not illegal to serve alcohol to one’s own children in one’s own home. It’s not even illegal to serve alcohol to other people’s children as long as they number less than ten and if you have the parents’ permission. Parents hosting parties need to speak with their lawyers to devise those permission slips.
Try as I might to approach this with an open mind, I still can’t get my arms around this. What are parents thinking when they introduce their underage children to alcoholic beverages? I’m letting you drink before you’re of legal age because I want you to … what? Experience the joys of wine, beer, booze? Realize that it’s not that big a deal so that you don’t feel the need to drink excessively? That with drinking comes some responsibility, such as if you’re drinking, you absolutely cannot drive and also if you drink too much, you lose impulse control and can do lots of stupid and, quite possibly, deadly things?
I don’t understand this approach, actually. Research shows that youths who start drinking under the age of 21 are four times more likely to become addicted than those who start drinking after age 21. With all the research that has emerged on the impact of alcohol on the development of the brain, and on the development of other parts of a young person’s body, what’s a parent’s goal in introducing youths to alcohol before their bodies are ready to metabolize it properly?
Pointing to Europe, particularly France and Italy, as being more “civilized” and reasonable in their approaches toward young people drinking alcohol no longer holds any water. Those countries are having as many problems with underage and binge drinking as we are.
Underage drinking of any kind opens floodgates of problems that threaten to drown everyone in its path as it swirls out of control. There is so much damage from excessive drinking – of adults and of youth. If kids fall through the abyss of addiction – and the data says they are more likely to if they start drinking in their teens – there is very little support for them and their families to cope with the fallout. And we all suffer the loss.
I don’t know how the answer to the question is yes; I don’t know how to raise a responsible drinker by letting kids drink alcohol. And yes, I think it’s reasonable to insist that kids not drink alcohol. For me, the risks for painful consequences are too great to step in that direction. So the choice is to follow the drinking laws and be unequivocal and unpopular about children not drinking before they are adults.
Columnist Dina Campeau is a wife, mother of two teens and a resident of Morgan Hill. Her work for the last seven years has focused on affordable housing and homeless issues in Santa Clara County. Her column will be published each Friday. Reach her at
dc******@ch*****.net
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