Woohoo! My family is “graduation rich” this year. My daughter is graduating from high school, my son from middle school. A couple of weeks ago, we had a glimpse of the June to come when we threw an 18th birthday party for my daughter, using the occasion to surprise my son with a 14th birthday party, since we missed celebrating him in September (my daughter was in on the surprise and happy to share her thunder).
In addition to our closest family, we had about 65 teens at our home. As hosts, we learned a couple of lessons I want to share with those of you who are planning parties for your grads.
1) Beverage companies are really sneaky about packaging their drinks containing alcohol. I’m pretty familiar with the signs of someone using drugs or alcohol. I’m also working with substance abuse prevention partnerships in Morgan Hill and Gilroy, so I was vigilant about doing frequent perimeter checks and my husband and I circulated among the kids to deter or curtail drugs and alcohol.
I thought I’d done pretty well. As we were cleaning up, I didn’t find any beer or liquor bottles or cans in the garbage or in the yard. That is, until I found a silver and orange can called Sparks. Labeled with the chemical ingredients you can read in Sobe or some of the other energy drinks that are so popular right now, the drink smells sickening-sweet and looks like urine.
Elsewhere on the can, I saw small letters saying “contains 6 percent alcohol.” Damn! I only found three cans, in my front yard, but I was miffed at being tricked, and even more annoyed that our underage kids are targeted like this by beverage companies and sold these beverages by local merchants.
2) Even if the guests have all been personally invited by your kids and are known, one of them will probably steal money from purses and bags left unattended in your house. My daughter and her friends have reported something has been stolen from their or others’ bags at many parties they’ve attended in Gilroy and Morgan Hill. Thinking they could prevent such a thing by inviting only those they knew to our home, the girls who were spending the night felt comfortable leaving their things in my daughter’s room for the night.
Bad move. Someone they knew helped him or herself to $250 in cash and $90 worth of makeup. Though my purse, with $200 in cash from shopping for the party earlier left unattended in my office, was untouched, I still felt angry, violated and stupid that I didn’t realize the bags needed extra protection. Such feelings were shared by my daughter and her friends, and it sure colored the otherwise good time at the party.
So, even if you know and trust your kids’ choice of friends, take extra steps by cautioning your guests to keep their purses or bags ON them at all times, or hide them well in your house.
When a teen takes that much money (or anything, no matter how much) from her/his peers and friends, it indicates something strong and good is missing from her/his core. That’s sad, and I hope whoever it was pulls her/himself together soon.
Meanwhile, parents, be sufficiently mistrustful of your guests, and you and your honored grads and guests will be sure to have a good time.
Columnist Dina Campeau is a wife, mother of two teens and a resident of Morgan Hill. Her work for the last seven years has focused on affordable housing and homeless issues in Santa Clara County. Her column will be published each Saturday. Reach her at dc******@*****er.net.
