During the holiday season, many people send cards to friends and
family. Some of these cards are hand-crafted, others are
store-bought. Some include four-page typewritten letters, others
simply contain a signature. Our family cherishes each card that
arrives and tapes them to our entry way wall in order to remember
our friends and family members who are thinking of us at this time
of year.
During the holiday season, many people send cards to friends and family. Some of these cards are hand-crafted, others are store-bought. Some include four-page typewritten letters, others simply contain a signature. Our family cherishes each card that arrives and tapes them to our entry way wall in order to remember our friends and family members who are thinking of us at this time of year. These cards are visual reminders of the connections that we have with others. Some connections are strong in our current lives, while others are faint from many years past. All of them bring a richness to our lives.
In addition to sending a card, writing a family Christmas letter is a long standing tradition in our household. Our letter is enclosed with a holiday photo of our family. In recent years as our family has grown up and some have moved away, it has been difficult to assemble everyone for a portrait, so at times our card has been a collage of photos.
We try to limit our Christmas letter to one page that summarizes the lives of our children – their ages, grades in school, current interests, hobbies and pastimes. We also include gatherings (such as weddings, anniversaries, birthdays) with friends and family and extended vacations. Our purpose is to share a few highlights with those we may not have been able to see very often that past year. For us, it is a way to stay connected.
During the last weekend of November, like clockwork, my wife asked me, “What do you want to include in this year’s letter?” I jokingly replied, “Copy last year’s letter and change the date.” Not to be flippant, but for many years there were certain events that were consistent in our lives. These little traditions were started years ago and have continued.
After my initial response, the question about what to include in the letter really made me reflect on some major changes in our extended family. In last year’s letter, there was a one-sentence summary of annual gatherings; “snow trip in January, camping trip over Memorial Day weekend, and end-of-summer beach party in Pismo.” At these outings, we could always count on my younger brother, my sister in-law, three nephews and our niece to accompany us. It was heartwarming from year to year to see the cousins reminisce on past adventures and mishaps they experienced together, and to excitedly anticipate next year’s trips.
Unfortunately, the downturn in the economy and the consequent recession has affected many families. This past April the company my brother had worked for the past 18 years dissolved and many employees were displaced. My brother was fortunate because he was one of the few employees offered a job at the new facility in Mississippi. However, he and his family would have to relocate. Due to the uncertainty of their own economic future, my brother’s family declined participation in many of our annual outings.
The relocation offer was not an easy decision for my brother to make: stay in the Bay Area near family and search for new employment, or relocate to a new state with secured employment but away from extended family. After much consideration, this past August they moved to Mississippi.
As I looked at the draft of this year’s Christmas letter, it finally sunk in just how many family memories had not been shared with my brother. Now that he is moved, I realize with great sadness how much I had taken for granted his presence in my life. As with other friends and family members who have moved away, my brother and I can remain close, but the relationship may be altered due to distance.
We have an album with past Christmas letters and photos. I went back to look these over with a new-found appreciation for the letter-writing tradition. In one page, each year we’ve captured a snapshot of our lives. This year, my brother will be reading our letter, and even though he did not participate in many of the gatherings mentioned, my hope is that he will smile and remember.
The holiday season is a good time to reflect on the valuable gifts of friendship and family. In a time of extreme busy-ness, we all can benefit from pausing and reflecting on the people and events that bring meaning to our lives.
We closed our annual letter this year by saying, “May you enjoy the Christmas season and find joy in the blessings in your life” acknowledging that loved ones are blessings not to be taken lightly.
Mario Banuelos has lived in Morgan Hill for 21 years. He has served on the south County Dayworker Committee and is a member of the Morgan Hill Community Foundation. He is married and has four children.
