Family yin and yang

Families are wonderful. I feel very fortunate to have a large and loving family made up of people who stay in touch, mostly through Facebook. Although we don’t see each other but once a year or every other year or, as with some of us, once every decade, Facebook allows us to “see” each other every day.
Last weekend, my husband and I traveled to Houston for my youngest daughter’s wedding. All four of my children, their significant others and my 10 grandkids (ages 9 years to 6 months) were there, as well as my mom, sister, three nieces I hadn’t seen in 10 years and assorted cousins.
We all stayed on the same floor at the Hyatt Regency downtown, and it was pure blissful chaos.
We had a great time together, as usual, but it wasn’t all roses and tacos. The stress of last minute wedding preparations, living in close quarters for four days and diverse family dynamics made for some tense moments and a few arguments among my kiddos.
They are all very close in age–five and a half years separate the oldest and youngest. When they were growing up, the siblings were the best of friends and that closeness carried through to adulthood. Now busy with families of their own, they strive very hard to remain close. They make real efforts to get together often and to make the most of their time together. But their closeness can also result in a lot of strife.
I often compare their relationships with each other to puppies playing together in a big box. They have a heck of a time, wrestling and jumping and play-growling, but eventually somebody plays too rough or ignores one of the other puppies or won’t share the chew toy. A puppy gnashes her teeth and snaps randomly, and the other puppies dart out of the box and run for cover. But when the dust clears, the puppies return to that box and seek each other out again, cuddling and nuzzling and curling up together for a nap. And so it is with my kids.
As I said, we all keep in touch with each other through Facebook. And while it’s an awesome tool, it can also cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. As with any close relationship, like my children and the puppies in the box, there is a yin to the yang of Facebook.
Nothing in life is perfect though. I don’t mind dealing with the complications of close families as long as love and empathy outweigh the growling and teeth gnashing.
I’d rather stay close to my children and the rest of my family, weathering the dark storms and waiting for daylight and the next Facebook post to appear, than have no relationship at all