What do you think about numbers? I’m fascinated by them. I know people who have no appreciation for numbers, at all.
Ask a non-number person how many hours it will be from, say two o’clock, to nine o’clock, and they will count on their fingers. Eventually, non-number people will get it right – but sometimes not until the third count.
Anyway, I count everything. How many steps are their on the main entrance to the Shark Tank? I count them every time we climb or descend them. Or how many foul balls Buster Posey hits before hitting one out of the park. I don’t know why I do it, I just do it.
Don’t get me wrong, there is no good or bad in this; it’s just a fact. Lady M says it is a left brain/right brain issue.
So, if you are explaining the how or why of something that involves numbers and your companion doesn’t seem to be listening, just ask him or her what the serial number is on the 10-spot he or she just got. If you get an answer, any answer, rather than a dumb stare, he or she is probably a left-brain, number person.
So what’s my favorite number? In fact, it is two. But the reason might surprise you. It is not because the Fox Network, channel 2, is my favorite. But you probably guessed that by now. But my reason does have to do with TV. Two is the number of different TV shows we can watch at one time on our new TV.
You see, we have this neat feature called Picture-in-Picture. Lady M can watch her cooking show on the right side – naturally – of the screen learning new recipes that she swears she will serve to guests some day, while I watch something – make that anything – else on the left side of the screen. She gets the sound except when commercials come on, but that’s no big deal.
What is a big deal is when she watches the perpetual tennis tournaments and we have to listen to the “screamers.” That is a bit hard to take. I’m watching Tiger take an easy swing on a difficult approach shot and we hear a loud – very loud – holler coming out of the TV speaker. I know it wasn’t Tiger, but it does cause some consternation.
This has nothing to do with numbers, but I read in the Morgan Hill Times that the long-empty bike shop on Monterey Road is going to be replaced. With what? There was no mention. Perhaps the owner hasn’t decided yet. Well, I have a great idea.
Actually, I was planning to do this very thing , but decided to become a journalist – there, I said it again – instead. The idea came to me one day when my son and I were out shopping with my daughter-in-law and Lady M in Bend, Oregon. The ladies were doing their thing while we waited, and waited. Suddenly, we spotted the answer on the very next corner. There it was, as clear as a bell. A martini bar!
So, Mr. McCranie what I suggest is the following: Divide the new building in half. One half will be a Chico’s. Lady M and all of the Morgan Hill ladies can shop there to their heart’s content with no worry about taking too long. Because their other halves will be at the martini bar with their buddies watching Morgan Hill’s finest stroll down Monterey Road. What a picture. Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive will have nothing on Morgan Hill and Monterey Road.
I proposed this plan to my friends at the Planning Commission and the Downtown Association and was told that the approval process would be put on the fast track and a unanimous approval vote was a certainty. So, there you have it.
One word of caution, gents. I do recommend that you do not purchase anything from Chico’s for your significant other. I tried that last Christmas and aside from the fact that I picked a color Lady M never wears, it was the wrong size, and it must have been designed by a Moroccan belly dancer, it was perfect.
If you must take that route, just get a gift certificate and let the “She” in your life pick out just the right thing. She will tell all of her friends that you got it for her, anyway. And you will be a hero. And maybe you’ll get a gift certificate to the Martini Bar with a respectable number of libations already paid for. Well, we can wish, can’t we?
Henry “Hank” Miller is a retired rocket scientist, he has an interest in classic automobiles, good conversation, martinis and community affairs. Reach him at
ha******@gm***.com
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