Of course I know it’s Monopoly. Can’t you forgive even one little mistake? I was going to say it was a test to see if all of you, my loyal readers, noticed that I said the iron and now the cat were Clue tokens when everyone knows full well that they are Monopoly tokens. But I cannot tell a lie. I was so fixated on General Chipotle that I just plain screwed up. And for the thousands of you (make that a few dozen) who just had to point out the errors of my ways, well, uhhh, thank you. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s great. Let’s just keep it that way.
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Now, on to bigger and better things. I mentioned in an earlier column that Dish Network’s Hopper system, used for receiving and recording video programs, was selected as the best new product at the recent Consumer Electronics Show.
Well, it turns out that CBS prohibited the folks – those in one of their subsidiaries who picked that product as the best in the show – from announcing the award. The reason: it allows us to eliminate the commercials when watching recorded network shows. And CBS doesn’t like us to do that because their sponsors don’t like it. Well, that’s exactly what Lady M and I do like about it. In fact, we now rarely watch any shows in real time. We record them and watch them an hour or more later, sans commercials. Think of all the extra time we have to do meaningful stuff like picking up all the trash and special surprises that Annabelle leaves around the house for us.
In fact, we figure we gain somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes for every one-hour show that we watch without commercials. Now, if they will go one step further and hop over the insufferable acceptance speeches at award shows – think The Oscars – we will really be happy campers.
Another thing I notice about television is the companies that advertise on network news shows. (I can’t record the news and watch it even an hour later. I am a confessed news junkie and I must see what is happening in this world, as soon as I can. Not an hour later, but NOW.) But back to the point. I am convinced that the only people who watch the evening network news are senior citizens. Most of the commercials are for products that appeal to our group. You know, medicines mostly for the geriatric set. And the warnings that go with those meds make one wonder if they’re worth the risk. I know, there are some for big, comfortable cars, retirement plans, and, of course, performance enhancement stuff, whatever that is. But mostly meds. And mostly for seniors.
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Of all of the commercials I have seen recently, the E-Trade ones are my favorites. You know, the little baby who hides his iPad and iPhone under the blanket so his mom can’t find them. What I don’t understand is where did they find kids who speak so well at such an early age? And where did they get all of the information on investing? Smart as my children were, I don’t think any of them at that age were quite that tuned in to investing. Although it has been a while, my recollection is of them thinking about not much more than eating and messing and not talking much about those things, just crying. But I guess my memory is not as sharp as it once was.
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There is another type of TV that’s really great to watch. We gave one of our children’s families a GoPro video camera for Christmas. It is a super small high-definition video camera that one wears and video’s his or her activities. They use it as they ski down Mt. Bachelor in central Oregon. It is so cool. They hook it to their helmet and record their entire run down the slopes, spills and all. Then, our 11 year-old grandson, adds music, title slides and credits and emails them to us. I would watch these over and over – even if they had commercials. Oh well, if they do, it will still be great fun watching the kids shushing along – and taking an occasional header. Particularly the latter.
That gives me a great idea: Let’s get a snow machine and blanket Morgan Hill’s wonderful El Toro. Then all we would need is a ski lift. Certainly, it’s been cold enough the past few weeks that, if this weather continues, I’m confident the snow will last well into July. Who knows, maybe we could win a future winter Olympics for Morgan Hill. Now there’s something for our city business-development folks to consider.
Henry “Hank” Miller is a retired rocket scientist, he has an interest in classic automobiles, good conversation, martinis and community affairs. Reach him at ha******@gm***.com.
